Contemplation

Life of the Buddha

2012-01-24T02:50:00.000-08:00

http://phramick.wordpress.com/2009/07/24/life-of-the-buddha/

SUMEDHA, the wise man inherited a vast fortune from his parents who left them upon their deaths. Realizing the unsatisfactoriness he gave away his fortune and became an ascetic in the forest. He soon gained mastery in meditation and was well known for his supernormal powers.

When ascetic Sumedha knew of the coming of Dipankara Buddha to the city of Rammavati, he took part in preparing the road for the Buddha. He was still repairing it when the Buddha arrived but he was determined to complete it by prostrating himself into the muddy hollow, in fulfillment of his vow to become a Buddha. Beside him was a young lady named Sumitta bearing eight stalks of lotus flowers. She gave the Ascetic five stalks and kept for herself three stalks for her own aspiration. When the Buddha Dipankara saw this, He omnisciently declared the Ascetic Sumedha a future Buddha, while He stated that the aspiring young lady Sumitta would be his constant companion and helpmate.

The Devas (Gods) imploring the Bodhisatta Santussita Deva (whose real name was Setaketu) in Tusita heaven to be reborn on earth to become a Buddha. He accepted their request after viewing the Five Great Considerations (Panca Maha Vilokana); which are appropriate time, Island-continent, country, clan and life-span of mother.

At Lumbini Park in Nepal, on Vesakha Full Moon Day, the newly born Prince walked seven steps on the lotus flowers and pointing to the North said, “AGGOHAM ASMI LOKASSA” meaning “Chief Am I in this world”. The birth of this baby Prince brought great joy to his royal parents, King Suddhodana and Queen Maha Maya as well as all beings!

The marriage of Prince Siddhattha and Princess Yasodhara (whose real name was BaddaCancana ) took place at the Golden Palace which was presented by his father, King Suddhodana. It was a luxurious palace full of comforts of life . The celebration lasted many days.

During his visit to the Royal park, Prince Siddhattha saw the Four Great Signs, namely — an old man, a sick man, a corpse and a serene mendicant. These made the Prince to realize the unsatisfactoriness of life and urged him to ponder deeply about renunciation.

Mara (the Evil One), with his host tried without success to prevent Prince Siddhattha from his Great Renunciation at midnight . Prince Siddhattha was riding on Kanthaka his fovourite stallion and followed by Channa his loyal charioteer. Mara said that if the prince did not proceed on his renunciation, he would become a Universal Monarch on the seventh day.

Prince Siddhattha cut off his hair to renounce the worldly life at the bank of the Anoma River. Ghatikara Maha Brahma presented the Monk’s Eight Requisites to Ascetic Siddhattha, who commanded his charioteer Channa to take his royal chattels back to the palace.
His hair was received by Sakka, King of Gods and enshirned in CULAMANI CETI (pagoda) in his celestial abode in TAVATIMSA. Similarly, Ghatikara Maha Brahma bore his princely clothes to his higher celestial abode, Akanittha and enshrined them in the pagoda known as DUSSA CETI.

The ascetic Bodhisatta spent six years practising austerity and meditation with steadfastness as well as earnestness, prior to his attainment. Even though he was reduced to a mere skeleton, he did not give up practising.

The Bodhisatta was sitting on a Golden Throne under a Bodhi tree and being challenged by Mara (the Evil One) riding on the ferocious elephant Girimekhala. Mara with host tried to capture the Golen Throne just before the Bodhistta’s Enlightenment.

On Vesakha Full Moon day, Bodhisatta Siddhattha seated under a Bodhi tree at Gaya, attained Supreme Enlightement. On the first watch of the night he gained knowledge by which He remembered past lives. On the second watch of the night he was able to see into the future including the birth and death of other beings. On the third watch of the night, He destroyed all defilements and became a Fully Enlightened One (Samma-Sambuddha).

It was in the final week (7th week) after his Enlightenment, when the two merchant brothers Tapussa and Bhallika from Ukkalapa passed by the spot and saw the Buddha. They offered the Buddha their own provision; then the Buddha gave eight strands of hairs from His head for them to worship as sacred objects of veneration.The hair relics are now enshrined in the Shwedagon Pagoda in Yangon, Myanmar.

At the Deer Park at Varanasi, the Buddha met the five ascetics, Kondanna, Vappa, Bhaddiya, Mahanama and Assaji all of whom He had known before .He delivered His first sermon to them. It is called the Dhammacakkapavattana Sutta which sets the wheel of the Dhamma in motion. The ascetic Kondanna who was at His childhood Name-giving Ceremony became the first to see light in the Dhamma and attained Sotapanna, the first stage of Sainhood.
Later, all attained Arahantship after hearing the Anatalakkhana Sutta (the Discourse which deals with No-Self)

The Buddha exhorted His first sixty Arahant disciples to go forth in different directions to preach the Doctrine, using these famous words: – “Go ye, 0 bhikkhus and wander forth for the gain of many, for the welfare of the many, in compassion for the world, for the good, for the gain, for the welfare of the Devas (Gods) and men . Proclaim ye, 0 Bhikkhus! The Doctrine that is glorious and preach ye a life of holiness, perfect and pure!”

When the Bodhisatta visited Rajagaha, the capital of Magadha, King Bimbisara offered his Kingdom to the Bodhisatta. But He did not accept it because of the worldly pleasures. After listening to the preaching of Buddha, the King attained the first stage of Sainthood (Sotapanna). He then dedicated his Royal park known as Veluvana (Bamboo Grove) to the Buddha and His disciples.

The Buddha performed the Twin Miracles of emitting fire and water simultaneously from His body, to subdue the pride of his older relatives who had erroneously thought that the Buddha being the younger would have to show respects to them.

On the seventh day after his arrival in Kapilavatthu, Princess Yasodhara dressed up Prince Rahula and pointing to the Buddha said, “Behold, son, the great Ascetic of majestic appearance is your father. Go up to him and ask for your inheritance!”
As advised by his mother, young Rahula came to His presence and asked for his inheritance. Instead, the Buddha told Venerable Sariputta to ordain Prince Rahula , giving him a spiritual inheritance better than the one he asked for.

During a subsequent visit to Rajagaha City, the Buddha went for alms-round in the company of His Chief Disciples and other monks. Along the way King Bimbisara and his royal family paid repects to the Buddha and His disciples.

The Buddha delivering a sermon of peace to two powerful warning armies of Kapilavatthu and Koliya at the opposite banks of the Rohini river before the two countries started fighting for the water supply of the river, for pastoral use.

The Order of Nuns (Bhikkhuni Sasana) was founded in the fifth year of the Buddha’s Enlightenment. After the death of King Suddhodana, Maha Pajapati Gotami , who was His former foster mother desirous of joining the Order ,approached the Buddha who was then, residing at Kapilavathu and begged permission for women to be admitted into the Order. After hearing and turning down their pleas, Buddha returned to Vesali for the Rains Retreat . Undaunted by the rebuff, Maha Pajapati Gotami cut off her hair and wearing yellow garments went on foot to Vesali, accompanied by many other Sakyan ladies. They stood outside the porch of the Pinnacled Great Hall in Mahayana where the Buddha was residing. Interceded by Venerable Ananda , the Buddha finally consented to establish the Bhikkhuni Sasana when Maha Pajapati Gotami and other Sakyan ladies agreed to observe the Eight Disciplinary Rules for nuns. Henceforth Maha Pajapati Gotami and other Sakyan ladies were admitted into the Order.
Later, the Nuns Khema and Uppalavanna were appointed the two Chief female Disciples; as were Sariputta and Moggalana the two Chief Male Disciples.

After losing in lively debate, the haughty hermit Saccaka refused to answer accordingly when the Buddha asked a question. Only when he was threatened to be beaten up by a celestial demon for arrogance, only then did he finally realize his own folly and listened to the Buddha’s preaching meekly. This wholesome action of his would augur well for his future.

On the seventh year after His Enlightenment, the Buddha preached the Abhidhamma (higher Doctrine) in Tavatimsa Heaven. As a fulfillment of gratitude to his former mother, now a Santussita deva, the Buddha then delivered a sermon on the Higher Doctrine to thousands of Devas (Gods) and Brahmas (higher celestial beings) who attained the various stages of Noble Sainthood.

The non Buddhist sectarians grudgingly wanted to ruin the Buddha’s reputation. They told Cinca Manvika , a beautiful girl to falsely accuse the Buddha for her shamed, pregnancy in a big and august assembly. King of Devas (Gods) dispatched some Deities disguised as mice to gnaw through the strings holding a block of wood under her garment. Her plot was exposed when the wood fell on her feet. When the people saw that, they threw stones and chased her away. As she was walking away, the earth spilt open and a flame sprang up to envelop and drag her down to Avici (deepest and worst) Hell.

On the sixteenth year of His Enlightment, the Buddha tamed the carnivorous Demon King , Alavaka who feasted on human flesh, to give up his habit on devouring at least one human being everyday. After hearing the Buddha’s Teaching, he henceforth gave up his habit, thus sparing the small child offered to him as food on that day.

There was a young harmless student at TAKKASILA University called Ahimsa. His jealous fellow students poisoned the mind of their teacher against him. As a result the teacher asked Ahimsa for a garland of one thousand right index fingers as tuition fee. Eager to discharge his obligation, he went into the Jalini forest in Kosala and started to waylay the passing travellers to collect an index finger from the right hand of each victim. The garland was almost completed except for one more single finger. Ahimsa decided to kill even his own mother for the sake of completing the one thousandth finger in the garland. However, Ahimsa was intercepted by the Compassionate Buddha who came to his aid. After listening to His preaching and being convinced, Ahimsa now known as Angulimala (garland of fingers ) joined the Sangha and became a Bhikkhu (monk) . The Angulimala Sutta, a discourse ascribed to this Thera (elder/monk) and connected to this event, is well-known in Buddhist countries and often used by pregnant ladies in travail for easy and safe delivery.

Once the Buddha and His Disciples went to Lake Anotatta passing by the mansion of Nandopananda the dragon king who was enjoying himself with his retinue. Angry at the apparent trespassing, Nandopananda coiled itself seven times round Mount Meru, covered the summit with its hood and spewing hot poisonous smoke to prevent the Buddha and his disciples from reaching lake Anotatta. Thereupon Maha Moggalana, (the second Chief Disciple) at once transformed himself into a dragon and likewise coiled round the mountain, crushing Nandopananda. Watched by the Buddha and His disciples, Maha Moggalana too began spewing hot poisonous smoke which greatly distressed Nandopananda who soon lost the challenge and upon realization of his folly, sought refuge in the Triple Gem of Buddhism.

The Buddha taking care of a sick monk, named Tissa who had been neglected by his unthoughtful fellow monks. By so doing, the Buddha wanted to foster mutual care and welfare amongst the Bhikkhus as well as others.

Baka Brahma, who was bitten by the snake of tenacious heresay (in believing that the Brahma Loka is the best and everlasting world in existence) , was duly defeated by the Buddha in a mutual contest to show power. On hearing the Buddha’s profound expounding of the Dhamma (Buddhist Doctrine), he became enlightened along with many other Brahmas (higher celestial beings).

When the Buddha was on his way to the city of Rajagaha, Devadatta ordered the release of the fierce elephant, Nalagiri, to harm Him. As the elephant charged towards the Buddha, everyone ran away leaving a mother and her baby on the ground. The Buddha radiated His infinite Compassion to calm and subdued the elephant before it could trample the helpless baby.

1. The Buddha at Kusinara laid himself between two Sal trees with his head to the North, determined not to rise again. He them delivered his last admonition, “Behold, 0 Disciples! I exhort you ! Subject to change are all component things! Strive on with Diligence !” before He entered Maha parinibbana (attainment of Final Emancipation).
2. Dona , the Brahman divided the Buddha’s relics into eight equal portions and distributed each of them to the Rulers of the eight countries. Then Dona decided that the golden container be kept for himself as an object of respectful veneration.

Just close your eyes and breathe.

2012-01-17T16:45:00.000-08:00

It doesn't matter if you can't get a cell phone signalor Wi-Fi where you are. You are always connected to Source.

I'm not kidding about this. I'm serious. Wherever you are,wherever you go, you are always connected to Divine Wisdom,Divine Intelligence, and Divine Love.

Just close your eyes. Breathe. Stop whatever you're doingfor ten seconds and find The Silence. Visit The Quiet.Just for ten seconds. Do it six times today.One minute a day. That's all it takes. One minute, divided into six parts.Go ahead. Do it now.

Love, Your Friend....

Neale Donald Walsch

The loop of grace

2012-01-08T22:58:00.000-08:00

The best (and only) way to truly give your gifts to others is unconditionally and quietly. The moment you start picking and choosing who you give to and why, using your gifts for selfish reasons, or making a parade or circus of your own talents and terrific goodness, you distort and even destroy the operation of grace. Instead, as Robert Barron writes, "The more we give back to God, the more we get, and then we must give that back again, so as to get even more in return. This is the loop of grace."

By Way of Beauty

The greatest wisdom is in simplicity.

2012-01-08T11:31:00.000-08:00

"The greatest wisdom is in simplicity. Love, respect, tolerance, sharing, gratitude, forgiveness. It’s not complex or elaborate. The real knowledge is free. It’s encoded in your DNA. All you need is within you. Great teachers have said that from the beginning. Find your heart, and you will find your way.” ~ Carlos Barrios

A Whole New World

2012-01-01T19:56:00.001-08:00

Each time we read for enjoyment, the empathy awakened within us creates entire landscapes in our mind's eye.

Every book has the potential to touch the human soul deeply, arousing patterns of thought that might otherwise have lain dormant. The pleasure we derive from the written word is unique in that we must labor for it. Other forms of art provide us with stimulus and ask nothing more than our emotional response. Reading is an active pastime that requires an investment of emotion as well as our concentration and imagination. The words we read are merely a starting point for a process that takes place largely within our minds and hearts.

There are few activities as comforting, relaxing, and healthy as perusing the pages of a good piece of fiction or nonfiction. Curling up with a book and a cup of tea is one of the simplest ways we can remove ourselves from the confines of reality in order to immerse ourselves in the drama and intrigue of the unfamiliar. The pleasure of transcending reality is only one aspect of the reading experience, however. Each time we read for enjoyment, whether we prefer the fantastic nature of fiction, the empathy awakened within us by memoir, or the instructive passion of nonfiction, we create entire landscapes in our mind's eye. The books we choose provide us with the inspiration we need to accomplish such a feat, but it is our own creative reserves that empower us to use our imaginations for this unique and beautiful purpose.

The tales you lose yourself in can lead you on paths of discovery that take you out of your own life and help you see that existence can unfold in an infinite number of ways. You can learn so much from the characters and mentors who guide you from page to page. Your emotions are awakened each time you read, allowing you to become vessels of the passion that pours forth from line after line of print. Ultimately, the books you absorb—those that touch you deeply—will become a part of who you are, providing you with a rich and thrilling world within that you can revisit anytime you wish by simply closing your eyes. If you haven't read a book for pleasure lately, try and allow yourself the time—you deserve it.

Daily OM

Feeling Our Words

2011-12-26T08:01:00.000-08:00

Words Have Weight

The more conscious we become, the more we deepen our relationship to the words we choose to use.

Words carry energy and this gives language its power and its potential to heal or hurt. Most of us can remember a time that someone sent a word our way, and it stuck with us. It may have been the first time we received a truly accurate compliment, or the time a friend or sibling called us a name, but either way it stuck. This experience reminds us that what we say has weight and power and that being conscious means being aware of how we use words.

The more conscious we become, the more we deepen our relationship to the words we use so that we speak from a place of actually feeling what we are saying. We begin to recognize that words are not abstract, disconnected entities used only to convey meaning; they are powerful transmitters of feeling. For the next few days, you might want to practice noticing how the words you say and hear affect your body and your emotional state. Notice how the different communication styles of the people in your life make you feel. Also, watch closely to see how your own words come out and what affect they have on the people around you.

You may notice that when we speak quickly, without thinking, or rush to get our ideas across, our words don't carry the same power as when we speak slowly and confidently, allowing those receiving our words time and space to take them in. When we carefully listen to others before we speak, our words have more integrity, and when we take time to center ourselves before speaking, we truly begin to harness the power of speech. Then our words can be intelligent messengers of healing and light, transmitting deep and positive feelings to those who receive them.

From Daily Om

Love is patient. Love is kind.

2011-12-20T14:45:00.000-08:00

"Love is patient. Love is kind.

It does not envy. It does not boast.

It is not proud. It is not rude. It is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered.

It keeps no record of wrong doing.

It does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth.

It always protects, trusts, hopes, perseveres."

~ 1 Corinthians 13

Listen to your heart

2011-11-30T05:52:00.001-08:00

Your hearts know in silence the secrets of the days and the nights.

Kahlil Gibran said that, and he was right. Listen, therefore, to your heart. Cultivate the ability to do this. Practice it. Produce it. Perfect it.

It is not that difficult. Just be quiet with yourself. And for heaven's sake, stop listening to your mind. You will not find the truth there. You may find the answer, but it will not be the truth unless it coincides with the answer in your heart.

You think there is more to know about life than this, but there is not. Your heart holds the key. Your heart holds the wisdom. Your heart holds the future. Your mind knows nothing but the past. It imagines the future will be just like yesterday, so it makes it decisions based on that. Only your heart can see beyond memory's horizon.

Love, Your Friend....

The best things in life are free

2011-11-26T16:37:00.001-08:00

"The happiest people don’t have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything. Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.”

Where Science and Buddhism meet

2011-11-15T16:42:00.001-08:00

Be childlike

2011-11-04T11:05:00.000-07:00

"Be very, very simple, very un-complex, very natural, like very small happy children, undisturbed by what happened yesterday or what may happen tomorrow, but living and enjoying the ever present Now to the very full. Never try to possess anything, never try to hold on to anything, because when you do, you cannot be simple and childlike, for you are full of fear, you are afraid of losing that which you are trying to cling on to. When you can open your hearts and share all the good and perfect gifts, which I pour down upon you, holding on to nothing, then you know the true meaning of the freedom of the Spirit and you really are free. When all is out in the open and you have nothing to hide, what a glorious feeling it is."

Eileen Caddy

Clickability - A skill for Life

2011-11-04T02:47:00.000-07:00

88.06.Clickability

Clickability: A Skill for Life
By Dr. Rick Kirschner

“Most of what you need to know about success in life is personal in nature. I’ve learned, through my own experience and that of the people I’ve worked with, that people need each other to have fulfilling work, successful careers and meaningful lives. Regardless of your cultural background, your age group, or your social status, your need to get along with people is fundamental to your happiness. No matter how much technical skill you have in your particular field of expertise, no matter how smart you are, how capable you are, how gifted you are, if you don’t know how to connect, relate and communicate with people, there’s little hope for you.

Whether the times are great, or the economy is in the tank, the people who do the best, who prosper and advance, are the people who know how to connect with other people and have it matter. Whether you are a homemaker, a parent, a business owner, a manager, a waiter or a postal worker, your skill with other people determines everything. And when you have the skill to build relationships and networks of relationships, the world is your oyster, and all options are open for you. Being able to click is just a matter of knowing what to do, why to do it, and how to do it.”

Download |

About Dr. Rick Kirschner | As a motivational speaker and communication skills trainer, Dr. Kirschner delivers artful programs in venues ranging from conference halls to boardrooms to grand theaters, with groups as large as 6000 attendees or as small as 4 executives in an off the beaten track locale. Clients include the world’s best known organizations, from Heineken to NASA to Progressive Insurance to the National Association for Neonatal Nurses to Starbucks to Texas Instruments. He’s been interviewed on hundreds of radio and television programs, including on CNBC, FOX and CBC. His ideas are found in newspapers and magazines including USA Today, London Times, The Wall Street Journal and Executive Excellence.

http://theartofchange.com/

88.03.InnovationYou

Only love can do that

2011-11-01T16:47:00.001-07:00

Hidden Gems

2011-11-01T08:33:00.000-07:00

All of the events in our lives lead to other events, they are all connected.

Sometimes we have an experience that we don’t understand, but if we look deeply, or wait long enough, a reason for that experience will usually reveal itself. All the events in our lives lead to other events, and all that we have manifested in this present moment is the result of past events and experiences. We cannot easily tease apart the many threads that have been woven together to create our current reality. Experiences that don’t make sense, as well as any that we regret, are just as responsible for the good things in our lives as the experiences we do understand or label as “good.”

This is especially important to remember at times when we feel directionless or unsure of what to do. It is often at times like these that we take a job or move to a place without really knowing if it’s the right thing to do. We may ultimately end up leaving the job or the place, but often during that time we will have met someone who becomes an important friend, or we may have an experience that changes us in a profound way. When all the pieces of our life don’t quite make sense, we can remember that there may be some hidden gem of a reason that we are where we are having the experiences we are having.

It’s fun to look back on past experiences with an eye to uncovering those gems—the dreadful temporary job in a bland office building that introduced you to the love of your life; the roommate you couldn’t tolerate who gave you a book that changed your life; the time spent living in a city you didn’t like that led you into a deeper relationship with yourself. Remembering these past experiences can restore our faith in the present. Life is full of buried treasures. Chances are, you’re sitting on some right now.

From Dailyom.com

Heart Healers

2011-10-24T17:39:00.000-07:00

By Sally Kempton

http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/2535

Set Love Free

I am having trouble letting go of a relationship that is over. We had a soul-mate connection but an unsatisfying and stormy relationship, yet I keep hoping that it's not quite over. I am still in love, and my instinct is to nurture the love. How do I let go?

In our culture there's a basic assumption that being in love means we are supposed to walk off into the sunset together. The truth is that two people can be close, love each other deeply and romantically, and not be suited to have a long-term relationship. In fact, having a soul-mate connection is not necessarily a good platform for a permanent relationship. If you accept the idea of karma, you can view that strong sense of connection as a sign that you share an intense karma from the past. The feeling of being soul mates can actually be the karmas drawing the two of you together so that you'll work out some unfinished business or help each other in some specific but limited way.

Paradoxically, being willing to accept the fact that you may not be a couple is the first step toward keeping the love while letting go of the suffering. There may still be pain—loss and endings are painful. By accepting the loss, however, you open the door for a different kind of flowering, between either you and this person or you and someone else.

So, here's my suggestion: Every time you feel the love and pain of the relationship, formally offer it up to the universe or to God. Do this over and over, and you'll begin to notice that your love is being freed of its clinging, possessive quality and becoming more a tender feeling.

When this happens, another possibility emerges. The soul-mate quality in the relationship can develop into a deep friendship. You can then free yourself from romantic expectations and the pain they engender, and genuinely wish the person well. That takes time and attentiveness to your own mind. I'd suggest working with your mind and heart through the following inner practices.

Set aside 30 minutes when you can be alone in your room or in nature. Go into your heart center. Imagine that this person is there with you and say, as if to him, "I release you. I offer our relationship and the love I have for you to the universe."

Stay with this thought or prayer until you feel a shift or release. There may be tears, emotional release, and pain. At some point you should get a sense of letting go. It doesn't have to be a big letting go—just a small release will do. Then, whenever you think of him, have the thought, "I release you and our relationship to the universe." Send him loving kindness by saying or thinking, "May you be happy; may you be healthy; may you be free." Whenever you wish him happiness, wish the same for yourself.

Second, along with that, I strongly suggest that you keep noticing the thoughts and fantasies that come up around this person. Practice seeing them as passing thoughts, instead of identifying with the thoughts and the patterns of feeling. Once you can see a thought as simply a thought—not necessarily a truth—the next step is to let it go. In Sanskrit, certain kinds of thoughts are calledvikalpahs, sometimes translated as "dreams" or "fantasies." One vikalpah that really hooks us is the dream of the perfect love, the perfect relationship. If we identify with that fantasy, it can become an escape for us—a kind of alternate universe that we enter over and over again, effectively preventing us from inhabiting the places and situations of our "real" lives. Fantasy keeps us out of the present. When we practice the mantra If only I were with him, I'd be happy, we make our happiness unreachable, unattainable, outside ourselves, and outside the moment in which we are living. Working with the thoughts—noticing the thought arising, recognizing it as simply a thought, then letting it go—begins to break this pattern and takes us back into our present.

***

The Bhakti Sutras, a great text of Indian devotional literature, teaches that any human emotion serves as a way to love God. God can be loved as a friend, as a parent, even as a child. And the sutras say that the most powerful form of devotional love is the romantic style of devotion, calledmadhura bhakti (literally, "sweet devotion"). The intensity and longing in romantic love creates a powerful fire in the heart. When that fire is turned inward and is directed toward God or toward the inner Self, then it can transform our character, open our heart, and move us into great depths of surrender and adoration. I'm telling you this as a prelude to suggesting a way to work with these fantasies.

There are two approaches to dealing with an impractical and potentially dangerous romantic passion. One way is through discipline, self-inquiry, and renunciation—in other words, by cutting off the fantasies when they arise. The other, more inclusive, path is the way of the ancient yoga philosophy known as Tantra. Tantra asks you to focus on the feelings behind the fantasies—the pure feeling of longing for love that we all possess. This longing is activated by our connection to another person, yet it is much larger than that individual. When we find it and follow it, the longing can lead us toward Essence itself.

Both approaches work: One uses discipline to remove the fantasy, and the other moves into and through the fantasy to the longing at its core. By attending to the call of your deepest desire, you can make your fantasies into pointers rather than ends in themselves.

The way of discipline is the basic practice of interrupting thoughts and fantasies, the way you would do in meditation. Begin by making a decision that when the fantasies arise, you'll interrupt them. You may have to do that again and again—perhaps every morning when you wake up. Remind yourself that you don't want to go down the road of fantasy. Explain to yourself that they distract you and ultimately cause suffering. Then, each time one comes up, imagine yourself offering it to a fire in your heart. Just keep offering your thoughts to the internal fire again and again. This is an essential meditative discipline that helps break any kind of cognitive pattern.

To try the Tantric approach, begin by finding a quiet place to sit that's free from distractions. Then spend some time bringing up the fantasies. Fully feel the emotions and inner sensations aroused by your fantasy romance: the pure longing, the pure sexual intensity, if that is how it manifests. Try to feel the sensation deep inside the core of your body. Then bring the sensation up into the heart area and hold your attention there, feeling the emotion expand. Imagine it as light.

At that point, totally remove the image or the fantasy of your dream lover. This is crucial. Instead, concentrate on the feeling state itself. Notice its flavors—perhaps aliveness, sadness, longing, heart-ache, love. Let yourself sit with the feeling state of your heart.

Recognize that these are yourfeelings, your longings, your love. With that awareness, let the feeling state continue to shift and expand.

The result of this practice is the dawning recognition that what you really are after, what you really long for, is the felt state triggered by your romantic fantasies. The more you can touch the feeling state in your body while letting go of the image that triggered it, the more you'll begin to see that it is your own love, your own internally generated aliveness.

an your lover. Bring into your awareness the image of different people in your life—people whom you love, people whom you're annoyed by, people whom you've seen on TV, people who are suffering, people who are sick, people who are happy and well. One by one, bring those people into your heart space and hold them there within the feeling space that you've created. Or, if it feels more natural, imagine yourself breathing the feeling state into those people.

A second step with the Tantric approach might be to expand the feeling to include people other th

Let the romantic feeling spread to include as many others as you possibly can. Realize that the love you feel can be universal. When you allow your focused, personal affection to expand in that way, you can begin to recognize how many opportunities for loving there actually are in this world.

Take it one step further and acknowledge the truth that is at the heart of the bhakti or devotional path: Inside your feeling is God. A feeling of love—any feeling of love—is God. Be aware that this feeling within you is Divine Presence.

These two practices, the basic mind discipline and the Tantric, both help fantasies lose their stickiness. But the Tantric approach can help you open your heart to love's healing depths.

One kind thing

2011-10-19T06:09:00.000-07:00

Helping others makes us happy--and it makes life meaningful. But how do we foster kindness in children?

Try asking these two questions at dinner tonight:

(1) What is one kind thing that someone else did for you today?

(2) What is one kind thing that YOU did for SOMEONE ELSE today?

Younger kids may need help brainstorming what "kind things" are - the more things in this category the better. Smiling at a grouchy stranger or hugging a teacher count!

May you be happy,

Christine Carter, Ph.D.

Hat Tip: These questions came from Jenny at Doing Good Together

Speak with the language of love

2011-10-16T16:12:00.000-07:00

Listen with the ears of tolerance
See through the eyes of compassion
Speak with the language of love.
Rumi
(Love u all) ♥

Simplicity, patience, compassion

2011-09-18T08:53:00.001-07:00

“Simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures. Simple in actions and thoughts, you return to the source of being. Patient with both friends and enemies, you accord with the way things are. Compassionate toward yourself, you reconcile all beings in the world.”
― Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

Magnetism — Your Buffer Against Hard Times

2011-09-10T21:18:00.000-07:00

by Swami Kriyananda

In 2004 a forest fire approached the entrance to Ananda Village and for a while, it looked like it would destroy our main facilities. Village residents converged near the entrance and chanted and prayed. As the fire came closer, everyone faced the oncoming fire and chanted “Aum” with great energy and determination. Suddenly the wind shifted direction and the community was saved. The fire marshal said, “If I had not seen this with my own eyes, I would not believe it.” But we have seen things like this again and again.

There are miracles, yes, but magnetism is what draws those miracles. Magnetism is the most important thing in life. I believe we’re on the eve of difficult times but if you have the right kind of magnetism, even if there’s a depression, it won’t be a predicament for you. Success in every aspect of life depends on the power of your magnetism to attract it. By developing “success magnetism,” you will find victory in all situations even in the midst of widespread difficulties.

Step One: Will Power and Concentration

How does magnetism work? Magnetism is generated by the strength and quality of your energy flow. When you pass electricity through a wire, it generates a magnetic field. The more electricity passes through the wire, the stronger the magnetic field.

Human magnetism works on the same principle. Whenever you will something to happen, a ray of energy goes out, projected by the power of your thought. That energy generates a magnetic force-field which can attract to you the objects of your expectations. The strength of that magnetism depends on your level of energy. People of low energy generate very little magnetism. Those with high energy can perform miracles.

“The greater the will, the greater the flow of energy” was one of Paramhansa Yogananda’s oft-stated maxims. The more you focus your energy one-pointedly, the stronger your magnetism to attract what you need. Concentration is thus the first necessity in developing that kind of will power. If your energy goes out in many different directions, you have very little magnetism. When you can focus your mind one-pointedly, you are already far on the way to developing a powerful will and the magnetism to attract success.

Step Two: Enthusiasm

For your magnetism to gain power, it is vitally important to summon up strong feeling for what you want to accomplish. Whatever you are doing, do it with all your heart. Magnetism is the result not only of focused energy but also of enthusiasm.

It has been said that nothing great has ever been accomplished without enthusiasm. Thomas Edison, for example, went through 43,000 experiments before he found the right filament for the light bulb—such was his deep feeling for the work he was doing. If you look at the lives of great scientists, you will find that they were passionate men and women and absolutely dedicated to the search for scientific truth. They could never have accomplished what they did without enthusiasm.

Always be careful to keep your enthusiasm from spilling over into excitement. For the will to become will power, it must be directed calmly, with control. As that happens, even when others have failed, somehow you will succeed.

Step Three: Positive Thinking

To develop magnetism, always be positive in your thinking. You will attract success if your mind is positive, and you will attract failure if it isn’t. A positive attitude will bring a positive response.

I had a very interesting experience of this principle at the airport in 1955, when I was leaving for France. When checking in at the airline counter, I stood behind a man whose baggage was obviously overweight. This man, when told he had to pay more, became very upset and made threats about not using that airline in the future. He even asked to see the manager. The angrier he got, the firmer the airline official became in his refusal to back down.

My baggage was much heavier than this man’s, but as I went up to the counter I thought, “This man is a friend. God is in this form,” and with that positive thought, I smiled at him. He looked at my baggage and said, “Well, what have we got here?” And without another word he allowed my baggage to go through. When your thoughts are positive, when they’re kind and helpful, you will find that others will want to help you.

I passed my music composition exam in college using this same principle. I didn’t go to any classes, but right before going in to take the exam, I read the bold print rules in the textbook. Two rules stuck in my mind, one of which was that a bass line should go in the opposite direction to the melody. Armed with this information, and with a very positive, cheerful outlook, I went in to take the exam.

We were asked to write a melody for a bass line. Suddenly, into my mind came a beautiful oriental melody. Later, the professor told me that it was on the strength of that melody that he gave me a good grade in the course.

The inspiration for that melody came because I was positive in my expectations and free of doubt. If you have doubt, if you think, “Well, gee, I don’t know if I can do this,” inspiration won’t come. But if all your energy is strongly focused in a positive direction, you will develop the kind of magnetism that will attract inspiration, answers to questions—all sorts of things. Even the right, pertinent knowledge can be attracted by the right, magnetic expectation.

Step Four: Solution Consciousness

“Solution consciousness” is another important aspect of magnetism. Many people have “problem consciousness.” You ask them to do something and their response is always: “Yes, but!” People like that never succeed. Whenever you have a problem, don’t think of it as a problem. See it as an opportunity. You will be amazed how much you can accomplish when you eliminate the word “can’t.”

Yogananda was very strong on solution consciousness. During World War II, he wanted to build a church in Hollywood, but new buildings were not allowed in Los Angeles. Everybody told him, “It’s not possible.” He said, “Oh, yes it is.” Since there was no law against renovation, he found an old building that was barely standing and moved it on to property he had bought. The neighbors complained bitterly but he developed the building into a beautiful church.

Don’t dwell on difficulties longer than it takes to define them clearly. With solution-consciousness you can have success. Solution-consciousness actually attracts right answers to itself, whereas problem-consciousness prevents answers from even arising in the mind.

Step Five: Kindness

An attitude of kindness is also important for magnetism. Kindness is very magnetic. When people are kind, they draw other people’s help in return. In true kindness, there is much more giving than receiving. True kindness is an all-giving energy.

Paramhansa Yogananda was all-giving in just this way. Once he went to a cane shop, and being a representative of an organization, he wanted to spend the organization’s money wisely, so he bargained. After bargaining and getting the best price he could, he thought, “This man has such a poor shop. I want to help him.” And he gave him back more money than he had saved!

The shopkeeper said, “You are a gentleman, sir.” He gave Yogananda the best cane he had. When Yogananda came home, he said, “What a poor floor that man had. I think I’ll get him a new floor.” That kind of kindness is what you need to develop.

The more you give generously of yourself—to God, to life, to other people, the more the karmic law supports you in return. Your ability to succeed in business, or in any other endeavor, increases to the extent of your awareness of your kinship with the great web of life.

Step Six: Non-attachment

One of the basic teachings in the Bhagavad Gita is nishkam karma: action without desire for the fruits of action. Many self-help books say you should desire intensely whatever you want, for that very intensity will draw to you the object of your desire. When desire and attachment exist, however, what you attract may not be what you need or it may be much less than you could have had. When putting out energy to achieve a goal, it is much better to focus on the energy flow itself, not the specific objective, even when your need is for a specific sum of money.

Years ago members of Ananda Village were invited to pledge different amounts of money to help with the enhancement of “downtown Ananda.” We needed $3000 to pave the entrance driveway. I knew that no one else could come up with that kind of money so I decided (secretly) to pledge the whole amount myself, even though I didn’t have nearly that amount. The money was needed in two weeks.

Although I made a request for a specific sum of money, in praying to Divine Mother I concentrated on the energy of the prayer, rather than the specific request. With great will power, I projected the energy of the prayer upward from my heart and then out through the spiritual eye. I didn’t visualize a specific sum of money or how the money might come. Instead I focused on the purpose this money was meant to serve with the thought, “Divine Mother knows more than I, and will take care of that end of things.”

One morning nearly two weeks later I saw an envelope lying on the floor inside my front door. In it was a letter and check for $3000 from a friend who had once lived at Ananda and had recently received an inheritance.

When you act with non-attachment, you can be sure of one thing: when success comes, it will be in the best possible way. Whatever you need, send energy outward as a “loving demand.” Energy flows much more forcefully when you think of it as a flow, without fixed and definite goals.

Step Seven: Attune to a Greater Reality

The power to attract success of every kind increases in direct proportion to your ability to recognize, and attune yourself to, a reality greater than your own. The more you unite your awareness to the Infinite Consciousness, the more effective your power will be. What you can on your own do is limited but what God can accomplish through you is limitless.

It’s absolutely thrilling to live life this way and to experience how much can be accomplished. I want to assure you of this because in hard times, there will be a lot of suffering. But you don’t have to suffer if you put out the right kind of energy.

From an April 2011 talk in Los Angeles, California.

http://www.anandaclaritymagazine.com/2011/06/magnetism-kriyananda-money/

Focus on the Good

2011-08-25T22:53:00.000-07:00

Raise Your Vibration

There are many ways to raise your vibration including thinking positive and uplifting thoughts.

Everything in the universe is made of energy. What differentiates one form of energy from another is the speed at which it vibrates. For example, light vibrates at a very high frequency, and something like a rock vibrates at a lower frequency but a frequency nonetheless. Human beings also vibrate at different frequencies. Our thoughts and feelings can determine the frequency at which we vibrate, and our vibration goes out into the world and attracts to us energy moving at a similar frequency. This is one of the ways that we create our own reality, which is why we can cause a positive shift in our lives by raising our vibration.

We all know someone we think of as vibrant. Vibrant literally means “vibrating very rapidly.” The people who strike us as vibrant are vibrating at a high frequency, and they can inspire us as we work to raise our vibration. On the other hand, we all know people that are very negative or cynical. These people are vibrating at a lower frequency. They can also be an inspiration because they can show us where we don’t want to be vibrating and why. To discover where you are in terms of vibrancy, consider where you fall on a scale between the most pessimistic person you know and the most vibrant. This is not in order to pass judgment, but rather it is important to know where you are as you begin working to raise your frequency so that you can notice and appreciate your progress.

There are many ways to raise your vibration, from working with affirmations to visualizing enlightened entities during meditation. One of the most practical ways to raise your vibration is to consciously choose where you focus your attention. To understand how powerful this is, take five minutes to describe something you love unreservedly—a person, a movie, an experience. When your five minutes are up, you will noticeably feel more positive and even lighter. If you want to keep raising your vibration, you might want to commit to spending five minutes every day focusing on the good in your life. As you do this, you will train yourself to be more awake and alive. Over time, you will experience a permanent shift in your vibrancy.

From Daily OM

The Tao of Travel

2011-08-08T23:54:00.000-07:00

http://zenhabits.net/travel

‘A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving.’ ~Laozi

Post written by Leo Babauta.

I’m not the world’s most seasoned traveler, but I have made a number of trips lately and have learned a few things that work well.
This year I’ve traveled to Guam for a month, to Portland, New York City, Las Vegas, London, Paris, Southern California. They’ve all been beautiful trips, and I’ve never taken more than a small backpack.
Travel lightly, with no set agenda, and you’ll have an amazing, stress-free trip.
Traveling doesn’t have to be stressful. It can be simple, if you keep it so.

Essential

Pack little. I take a small backpack, and don’t pack it too heavy either. I’ve found through experience that I just need a pair of jeans, 2-3 T-shirts, 2-3 quick-dry boxer briefs, 2-3 pairs of quick-dry socks, maybe a light sweater. I wash things in the shower if they get dirty and hang them to dry overnight. I bring my laptop so I can work for 30-45 minutes every morning. A paperback novel, maybe a small notebook. Minimal toiletries: deodorant, toothbrush, razor, Dr. Brommer’s liquid soap, dental floss. I never wait to check my back or get the bag after the flight, and I can pack in 5 minutes.
Have no agenda. I often ask for recommendations from locals, and get a list of incredible things. I’ll also put everything on a Google Map, so I can see where everything is. Then I toss all that out and let the day lead me where it will. Having no set agenda means you aren’t pressured to get anything done each day, which means you can enjoy yourself fully.
Walk a lot. The best way to explore any place is to walk. Walk all over, with no set directions. Get lost.
Eat lightly. Eat anything you want, but don’t eat a lot. I like to mix fruits and veggies in with the heavier stuff, so I don’t feel so heavy.
Find space to relax. Most people try to do too much, and rush around all day. Stroll casually, find good coffee shops or tea shops to relax in, or a good sidewalk cafe with good wine. Find parks and enjoy them. If it rains, walk in the rain. Read a lot.
Be present. Don’t be on your smartphone or laptop all the time. Don’t always think about what you’ll be doing later, or work stuff. Be fully present, and you’ll have a great time.
Smile at people. Talk to the locals. Ask for recommendations. Find out about their lives.

A Few More

Do bodyweight exercises. I do a mix of pushups, squats, lunges, burpees in my hotel room or apartment.
Don’t just stay for a day or two. If you really want to see a city, stay for a week or more. I could have gone to Europe and hit up 10 cities in three weeks, but instead I split that time among just two cities (London & Paris) and really saw those cities.
Get a short-term apartment if you can. If you can stay for a week, get an apartment if you can afford it. It’s cheaper than a hotel and much more comfortable.
Read a good novel.
Bring a metal water bottle. I learned this from my friend Scott: pack an empty water bottle, so you can get through TSA security checkpoints, and then fill up the bottle at the airport water fountain after the checkpoint. I carry the water bottle around everywhere I go so I’m never thirsty.
Keep a journal. Don’t stress over the journal. It doesn’t have to be daily. Just write out your thoughts, impressions when you have some spare time.
Travel locally. For years I never traveled, to save costs. I was content where I was, and that’s still true. Be a tourist in your hometown — see the sights, walk the area, explore and try to find new things you’ve never seen before. You don’t need to spend a lot to travel locally.

‘One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.’ ~Henry Miller

Give the best of you everywhere you go

2011-08-08T18:17:00.000-07:00

The fastest way to receive is to give, because giving starts the reciprocal action of receiving. We all receive according to how much we give. Give the best of you everywhere you go. Give a smile. Give thanks. Give kindness. Give love.

Your giving should be a giving without expectation of return - a giving for the sheer joy of it.

May the joy be with you,

Rhonda Byrne

The magic of your subconscious mind

2011-08-03T05:17:00.000-07:00

"There is a gold mine within you from which you can extract everything you need to live life gloriously, joyously, and abundantly.”
- Joseph Murphy

After 30 + years of knowing that thoughts become things, I feel as if I’ve just picked up a HUGE piece of the How-To-Get-What-You-Want puzzle. I now realize that harnessing the extraordinary power of the subconscious mind is a significant part of deliberate creation.

Your subconscious mind is the gold mine referred to in the Joseph Murphy quote above. And what a gold mine it is! Your subconscious mind is directly linked to the quantum field of infinite possibilities. It’s one with infinite intelligence and boundless wisdom. It’s where intuition comes from. It’s where inspiration for scientific discoveries, great inventions, artistic masterpieces, and music that moves your soul comes from. This is the field of pure potential whereeverything is possible and YOU get to choose.

If you think of the conscious brain as the captain of the ship, then the subconscious brain would be the entire ship’s crew. Dreams, goals, plans and desires are hatched in the conscious part of the brain, but it’s the subconscious part of the brain that executes these plans. Your subconscious mind works non-stop according to the programs it has been given.

With three simple steps, you can this very day begin reprogramming your subconscious mind so that it works to bring you what you DO WANT rather than what you DON’T WANT:

(1) Meditate. Meditation raises your vibration, releases resistance and trains your brain to focus. It enables you to tap into the quantum soup of infinite consciousness. Simply get still, quiet the wheels of your mind, and enter into a sleepy, drowsy state. In this relaxed, receptive state, you’re ready to plant the seed of your desire in the fertile ground of your subconscious mind.

(2) Visualize. When you visualize and imagine the fulfillment of your desire, you create a neural network within your brain that corresponds to your desire. Visualize the experience you desire with great clarity and emotion, making the images vivid and real.

(3) Affirm. The best affirmations are bold, clear, positive, and stated in the present tense. As with visualization, when you repeat affirmations of your desires as if you’re living them now, you establish new neural pathways in your subconscious brain. Continue to affirm your desires and feel the reality of living your dreams, completely disregarding any evidence to the contrary.

“The great secret possessed by the great men of all ages was
their ability to contact and release the powers of their
subconscious mind. You can do the same.”
- Joseph Murphy

As you meditate, visualize and affirm, you systematically impress your desires onto the power center of your subconscious mind as a new set of instructions and the infinite power of the quantum field sets about to bring your vision into physical reality.

As you harness the Magic of Your Subconscious Mind, you’ll be able to access the gold mine within you and extract an abundance of love, joy, freedom, empowerment, and prosperity – anything and everything your heart desires.

Kate Corbin

A Simple Path

2011-07-22T18:21:00.000-07:00

“Nothing is more honorable than a grateful heart.” ~ Seneca

Mary Beth and I enjoyed a rare mid-week date last night. The typical Wednesday night is spent shuttling Emily to and from activities, preparing dinner, and making sure homework is finished. But summer’s slower pace found us home, alone, and without the usual chores to do.

With our younger daughter at summer camp, we had time to do as we pleased. My wife and I selected an Italian café where we sat at a high-top table. We shared a Caesar salad and sipped Peroni beer while waiting for our entrees to arrive.

Mary Beth and I chatted about Caitlin’s move to Miami. We both agreed Brandon’s recent visit home was a particularly pleasant one and we started planning Andrew’s return to college.

For a few moments on a Wednesday night, my wife and I took a break from the ordinary to celebrate the extraordinary life we share.

After dinner, we stopped by the new Trader’s Joe. The low-priced specialty grocery store recently opened in our neighbor and we were eager to see what the fuss was all about.

Walking through the aisles of organically-grown broccoli and low sodium chicken pasta soup, we held hands just like we did 27 years ago when our appetites where focused on foods a little less healthy. We settled on frozen mint peas and 2% milk before leaving the store.

Driving home I found my hand still connected to Mary Beth’s. The splendor of our four children, my wife’s thriving practice and the satisfaction of my recent promotion made the evening, on a not-to-so typical Wednesday night, extraordinary.

Sometimes the simple path to an extraordinary life is taking the time to recognize exactly what you have – and then appreciating every moment of it.

Summer will be ending soon. The shuttle service will be back in action and the ordinary Wednesday night’s will return. And on those Wednesday nights when we’re checking homework or checking in with our other children, I will gratefully enjoy every moment because I know we have a life that is extraordinary – a life that is brighter than diamonds.

What is A Simple Path?

This post is in A Simple Path, a series of short pieces inspired by my own life experiences. Each post is a simple path to experiencing something wonderful: maybe seeing life from a different perspective, or celebrating its beauty. Click here to read all posts in the series.

http://www.thebridgemaker.com/a-simple-path-to-a-life-brighter-than-diamonds/

Alex Blackwell
The BridgeMaker Founder

What Comes After Enlightenment

2011-07-07T04:59:00.000-07:00

Enlightenment has become a fuzzy word, so for the purpose of this article, let’s define it as the realization of Oneness. Not the knowledge nor mind-level understanding that “yes, we are all One; isn’t this wonderful” but the realization based on direct experiences. When you are enlightened, you know it as clearly, solidly, and directly as you know your heart is beating. There is no doubt, no room for discussion, period.

So you want to be enlightened?

If you are still in the illusion of separation, enlightenment (again, meaning this realization of Oneness), especially the first glimpse of it, can be wonderful. You’ve been looking for ways to come home and suddenly you realize you are already home. No more struggles to find your way.

However, the truth is enlightenment is not the end. If it is, we didn’t need to bother to be incarnated at all. As I explained in this article of who we are, we started as the one being.

What would be a good analogy? It’s like making jigsaw puzzle from a picture. If appreciating the beauty of the picture is your purpose, you wouldn’t want to break it up to puzzle pieces. You already have the complete picture. Yet some people actually like to make puzzles — because they want to play with puzzles. It’s fun.

Truth is in ambiguity

So enlightenment is only half the truth. For example, Eckhart Tolle’s “A New Earth” is a great book. I agree with everything in it. But it’s only half the truth.

The other half is about our individuality.

We tend to think “If one is true, the other is wrong”. Well, in this case, both of these statements are true in its full meanings;

We are all One.
We are individuals.

This may be hard to grasp because we are so conditioned in the monic thinking. Take your time to get use to this perspective.

Because otherwise, you could be stuck in enlightenment.

After Enlightenment

Many so-called spiritual people are stuck in enlightenment. After they see the Oneness, they cannot make sense of their life as it unfolds on this Earth.

Surely, we are better off by dropping certain ideas. So if you find yourself not caring about worldly achievements or how you might appear in others’ eyes, great. It may take some changes in how you steer your life and you may feel disoriented for a while, but that’s just usual with major changes.

This kind of change is common after enlightenment and not what I mean by being “stuck”.

What I mean by being “stuck in enlightenment” is ignoring the meaning of why we are incarnated with physical bodies, with different interests, likes, etc.

The nature of life

By definition, being in this physical world means we choose one over the other. Whereas you have both male and female energies as a spirit, physically you are either a man or a woman. Whereas you could be anywhere and everywhere as a spirit, physically you are either here or elsewhere.

As a spirit, you already know Oneness and you can experience everything that ever happened and ever will. You have every possible perspective. As a physical being, you experience one thing at a time from a fixed point of view.

Being physical is restricting but also fun. We choose one piece of the puzzle over the other.

Being fully here

After enlightenment, it is essential to learn to be fully here. To experience what is happening right here and now.

Learn to switch the modes. I have three modes: my individual existence mode, my psychic mode in which I choose specific perspective other than my own, and the Oneness mode.

You may have just two (without the psychic mode) or may have more that I don’t know yet. That’s okay. The point is to realize that all these modes are equally important and to be able to consciously switch the modes.

If you have prejudice, such as one favoring the Oneness mode, you miss the joy of this physical world. You also fail to exercise your power you potentially have. This undermines the purpose of this incarnation.

If you cannot switch modes consciously, you are at the mercy of whatever is happening around you or in the shared common consciousness. This is super disempowering.

How much time to spend in each mode? This is up to you, but for most people, I recommend spending sufficient amount of time in your personal mode, while spending enough time in the Oneness mode so you won’t forget it. (Here is another article about the two modes, the absolute and the relative, that you may find helpful.)

True Enlightenment

Come to think of it, true enlightenment should mean this conscious and free shifts in our awareness. Realizing there is another mode besides the separated individual mode is only the beginning.

And what happens when you have this true enlightenment? Freedom! You realize very few things, if any, matters and you can be fully yourself.

You could be singing and dancing all day long. (By the way, this is close to what I’ve been doing since I got a piano. I am on voluntary sabbatical, not making any money, just going crazy with music ♡ I heard Rumi did something similar, too.) Or maybe you have something else you like doing — isn’t it wonderful we each have different likes?

And if you think I’m so conceited — well, what do I care? This is so much fun!

Also I have forgotten most of the things I use to write. Seeking cannot be a part of this being, and even the memory of it means so little now. (And mind you, this blog has been my life.) In order to place some links in this article so that it would be helpful to some readers took quite a lot of time because of this.

Soon, I will forget enlightenment. That is true enlightenment.

(photo credit)

July 3, 2011 by Akemi
http://reallifespirituality.com/after-enlightenment/

The Music of This World

2011-07-07T04:25:00.000-07:00

Meditating with the natural sounds of nature will help you connect to something larger than yourself.

The tool most commonly used to focus our minds in meditation is the breath. When we sit down to meditate, drawing our attention inward counteracts our habitual tendency to be scattered. Meditation on the breath helps us gather our energy into our bodies, centering and grounding us in the present moment. Almost as readily available as our breath are the sounds of the natural world. From rain to wind to the ocean and birds, meditating on these aural manifestations brings us not only a sense of peace, but also an experience of connection to the physical world.

It is easy to get stuck inside our own heads and our individual lives. We get caught up in our goals and plans and almost forget that we live in a world that is always there, humming away in the background. There is an internal shift that occurs when we tune into that background and really give it our attention. It’s as if we are discovering a more expansive world, because we are. We are also experiencing ourselves in relation to something larger. This discovery makes us feel rejuvenated and more expansive.

The vast and ceaselessly churning ocean is an ideal place for meditating on the sounds of nature. Sit quietly and surrender to the sounds of the thundering, crashing waves. Let go of your ambitions and listen. Rivers and lakes also sing their own songs. Even if you live in the middle of a city, the wind howls and whistles and the rain taps out a variety of sounds depending on where it falls—on the sidewalk, a tin roof, a car window, or a muddy slope. Tune into these sounds next time you hear them instead of letting them fade into the background. Stop and listen as if you are hearing a sublime piece of music. Let the music of this world take you on a journey of natural sounds.

Source: DAILYOM

9 Ultimate Self Improvement Lessons Anyone Can Learn from the Bible

2011-06-16T16:53:00.000-07:00

By Anastasiya Goers

http://balanceinme.com/spirituality/christian-self-improvement/

Here is a question for you. What does Christianity have to do with the popular and constantly growing industry of Self Improvement? Don’t be afraid, it’s not some religious fanatic post that is supposed to make you repent your sins and go into exile. We are all intelligent and smart people who are looking for ways to grow in life, to develop in a balanced and harmonious way.

So what does the Bible have to do with self improvement (and balance for that matter)? The Bible really is the ultimate guide towards personal growth. I confess, I am very partial towards this topic because I am a Christian (even though I haven’t always been one.) But even if you do not share my beliefs open up your brilliant mind to the new concepts that I am about to reveal here. If you love life balance articles and tips that I give on this blog please stick around to see what is really inside my mind and soul. Because faith is really the base of life balance in my life.

Personal development field and the Christian religion seem to be living in two completely different worlds. But in reality they have much more in common than any of us could ever imagine. Here is the ultimate 9-step self improvement guide that will help you achieve the peace, balance and happiness that you are looking for.

1. Find your mentors

You need to have good teachers to grow in life. Learning from these teachers expands your knowledge, opens up your mind to new possibilities and lets you avoid painful mistakes (at least some of them.)

I will instruct you and in teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel and watch over you.
Ps. 32:8

The Holy Bible is the ultimate guidebook for self improvement, sometimes we just need to put a little more effort into understanding the lessons written in it.

2. Develop positive thinking

I often hear about people saying that they are afraid that bad things will happen to them. They think that they do not deserve good life. They are always expecting a problem jumping at them from right around the corner.

The thing about this people is that most frequently bad things do happen to them. Various problems do arise in front of them. And their life turns into a negative snowball.

Negative attitude never does anything good for you. If it’s difficult for you to believe that you do deserve only great things in life then you should listen to this:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future.”
Jer 29:11

I have no reason for negative thinking in my life, do you?

3. Harness the power of affirmations

If you are at all interested in self improvement then you probably heard at least 10 times about affirmations. Some people swear by them and put a lot of effort into creating their personal affirmations (mantras) that they use for different situations in their lives. They work, what else can I say?

However, instead of creating some random phrase you can memorize Bible verses and use them as your personal affirmations. You will train your brain, find your emotional balance and grow spiritually at the same time.

To get you started download this desktop wallpaper that will help you learn 9 Bible verses that I love the most.

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4. Take care of your body

Self improvement tends to relate more towards mental and emotional development. But how can we say that we are “self improving” if we continue living with bad habits, neglect our bodies and destroy our health day after day?

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own, you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
1 Cor. 6:19-20

5. Journal for your mental and emotional health

Journaling is a powerful way to combat stress in life, get through tough periods and clear your mind in general. Sometimes it is difficult to start this exercise because you might not know what to write about.

You can start journaling down your prayers. Why not? A prayer is your dialogue with God, it is the ultimate expression of your feelings, emotions and troubles. Write it down, be grateful for what you have, ask for support and help in your troubles, open your heart no matter how big or small your request might be.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Phil 4:6

6. Simplify your life

The life of material riches and possessions is empty. The joy that we get from new purchases doesn’t last but a few minutes (okay, maybe a few days at the most.) Things that clutter our houses create the same clutter in our mind. They leave no space for spirituality, for genuine emotions and priceless memories. Simplifying is the only way to true life balance: financially, emotionally, and physically.

Whoever loves money never has money enough;
whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income.
Ecc 5:10

Do you have any doubts about that?

7. Live your life with passion

Isn’t it the new American dream to make money with your passion? There is a guide, book or course on every corner that promises to turn your passion into a fountain of wealth. I believe that a lot of people unrightfully cash in on the passion thing and very few actually give any worthwhile advice (one exception is Discover Your Passion Guide by Barrie Davenport). But that’s a topic for a totally different post.

It is a real gift in life if you can enjoy your occupation, if you can put all your passion into your work. And it is possible. With faith and a lot of work of course

It is good and proper for a man to eat and drink, and to find satisfaction in his toilsome labor under the sun [...] Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work – this is a gift of God. He seldom reflects on the days of his life, because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart.
Ecc 5:18-19

8. Persevere and work towards your goals

How easy is it to give up in life? Very easy. However, you cannot grow if you do not persevere or if you do not work towards your goals.

Sometimes it’s very difficult to continue: some obstacles may get in our way, our motivation dwindles and projects look enormous and overwhelming. Of course you can give up and choose a different path, you can lose sight of your dreams, you can settle for something ordinary and safe. This is not life though; it is running away from life.

Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Phil 3:14

9. Develop your spirituality

Each one of us can have their own definition of spirituality. While spirituality is a key element of any religion it is still possible to develop it apart from religious beliefs (it’s not my way, but it is still a way.) Spirituality and strong beliefs give you a sense of purpose in this world; they help you fight your fears and work in line with your passion; they help you discover who you are and grow towards who you want to be. Spirituality gives you the core belief that you can always go back to and find your strength in it.

But seek first his kingdom and righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Matt 6:33

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Phil 4:13

If you are interested in growing as a person, improving your life and achieving your life balance then you need to pick your self improvement path. The steps that you have just read are universal but only you can decide what will be the purpose of your life … what will be the deep core belief that will be pushing you forward no matter how good or how bad you are feeling.

My life has become everything I always wanted (and much-much more) after I turned my life to God. It was a simple step that changed everything forever. Each of the steps that I described above helped me grow, overcome difficulties and find strength when I needed it. Even inspiration for this post was an answer to my prayer.
But this is just my life; you have to make your decisions and choose your path.

The No.1 And Only Way To Express Yourself

2011-06-15T06:35:00.001-07:00

Written by John

Some people are alive.

They bristle energy and enthusiasm and glow vitality and self-confidence.

Their personality is bright and spirited and you can almost feel the sheer happiness flowing through their veins and pumping out all over the place.

How do they do it?

How are they able to project such a positive persona?

How come they can express themselves so naturally and effortlessly?

One secret and one secret only!

They live from the heart.

They put their heart 100% fully into all they do from work to relationships, their community to all their interactions with others. They don’t hold back, they open up, never withholding their warm caring feelings and pure love of life and people.

They don’t want, they give.

In return they attract good will and affection in bucket loads which further feeds their appreciation of all that’s special about being alive.

It’s the way to go and to be.

I bet you know someone like that. A cheery popular relaxed soul.

Join them and come alive.

Express yourself from the heart.

http://the100percentyou.com/2011/06/15/the-no-1-and-only-way-to-express-yoursel/

Tips for Teaching Mindfulness to Kids

2011-06-15T05:05:00.000-07:00

http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/tips_for_teaching_mindfulness_to_kids/

By Megan Cowa

How can we build the quality of mindfulness in our children, our classrooms, and our schools?

The Oakland-based Mindful Schools program, of which I am a co-founder and co-director, teaches children in public and private elementary, middle, and high schools how to be more mindful of their thoughts and actions. As of the fall of 2009, Mindful Schools had brought our five-week in-class mindfulness training to over 7,000 children in 26 schools, 22 of which serve low-income children. The program is secular, extremely cost-effective, and uses short, interactive exercises that are tailored for children. Both quantitative and qualitative responses from teachers, principals, and students have indicated that our program greatly improves the classroom and the overall school environment.

Here are some guidelines that Mindful Schools has created for educators who want to incorporate mindfulness into the school day, or for anyone who wants to teach mindfulness to children, based on our experiences with Mindful Schools.

Children participating in the Mindful Schools program.Mindful Schools

Purpose. Because this is a tool that students can utilize throughout their life, it is important that the connotation of “mindfulness” remains accurate. Mindfulness, when applied appropriately, includes the qualities of awareness (paying attention to one’s experience through the senses and the mind); of non-judgment (not labeling things “good” or “bad” but rather observing with a neutral attitude); and of stillness in heart and mind (though the body may be moving). Although it may be tempting to use mindfulness as a disciplinary tool, mindfulness should not be used to demand a certain behavior. It inherently includes the quality of acceptance.

Have your own mindfulness practice. This will make you more effective at teaching mindfulness. We can only offer what we have developed ourselves.

Choose a time for mindfulness. We are creatures of habit! Try to always practice mindfulness at the same time. Many teachers find mindfulness helps their class settle down after recess or after lunch. Of course, you may do it more than once a day.

Create the environment. Make it clear that mindfulness is a special time: clear off desks, perhaps move to the carpet, or have all chairs face the front of the room. Ask students not to take bathroom breaks and refrain from talking and moving for a little while.

Get the students involved. The best way to make sure you remember to do mindfulness is to enlist the help of your students. Create a rotation schedule for “who gets to ring the mindfulness bell.” If you practice mindfulness at the same time every day, pretty soon you won’t have to remember—whoever’s turn it is will remind you!

You share. Because children respond well when we relay our own experiences, you can share with the students if, how, and when you are using mindfulness in your life. If you share a recent story of when you were overcome with emotion or used mindfulness to help you deal with an emotion, they can hear how it is applied.

They share. Many young students like to share what they’ve noticed or experienced during mindfulness, or maybe something that was challenging or distracting. Sharing also allows others to be aware of things to notice while practicing mindfulness that they may not have heard otherwise.

Practice every day! The sooner you begin integrating mindfulness exercises into your daily classroom routine, even for just a minute at a time, the quicker it will become a part of the classroom culture.

Use the instructions and script below for a daily mindfulness lesson; it can be done in just one or two minutes. If you like, you can get more creative and add more in-depth lessons, or practice for longer periods. You can do the same thing every day. A simple lesson to repeat daily is one minute of mindful listening and one minute of mindful breathing.

1. “Please get into your ‘mindful bodies’—still and quiet, sitting upright, eyes closed.”

2. “Now place all your attention on the sound you are about to hear. Listen until the sound is completely gone.”

3. Ring a “mindfulness bell,” or have a student ring the bell. Use a bell with a sustained sound or a rainstick to encourage mindful listening.

4. “Please raise your hand when you can no longer hear the sound.”

5. When most or all have raised their hands, you can say, “Now slowly, mindfully, move your hand to your stomach or chest, and just feel your breathing.”

6. You can help students stay focused during the breathing with reminders like, “Just breathing in … just breathing out …”

7. Ring the bell to end.

Personal Tales - Writing Your Story

2011-06-07T22:31:00.000-07:00

We all have a story to tell whether we publish it or keep it for just ourselves or family; allow yourself to be heard.

Everyone, at one time or another, has wanted to express his or her story. Writing a memoir to read privately, share with family or friends, or publish is an emotionally satisfying way to gain perspective on your experiences while sharing your unique voice. We’ve all experienced feelings and events in our lives that we are longing to write down. Giving in to that urge can give you an outlet for purging any frustration, anxiety, or long-dormant feelings. No one else has to read it. You may even want to write your story without reading it right away. Satisfying the need to tell your story is not predicated upon your writing ability. It does, however take effort to write down the truth in detail. Your memories, captured on paper as descriptive scenes, sights, sounds, and scents, may at first seem disconnected or incomplete. But rest assured that you possess the ability to shape your recollections into stories.

Everyone wants to be heard. Reading your story to others can meet that need. Writing your story can also help you understand your life experiences. And when you finish writing, you may be surprised at what you have accomplished. Your story can encompass as much or as little of your life as you prefer. You may surprise yourself with new insights, or you may find yourself exploring your roots, your identity, and your future through your words. Allow your writing to guide you and write as truthfully as possible. Don’t worry about what others will think of your personal journey, your style of writing, or your words.

Research has shown that writing a personal narrative filled with feelings and perceptions can create long-term health benefits. As you write, remember to have compassion for yourself, particularly when writing about traumatic events. If you are a young person, you can add to your life story as you grow older. Your writing may help family members know you better, or they may understand themselves more through reading about your experiences. More importantly, you are expressing yourself in a permanent way, giving a gift to yourself, and letting your voice be heard.

From Daily OM

Making Your Vision A Reality

2011-06-02T02:31:00.000-07:00

by Bahram R. Shahmardaan, PhD

To succeed in any endeavor, we all need to practice the following three Principles. We need to develop:

· Humility to Receive.

· Discipline to achieve and

· Commitment to fulfill.

So that you may be able receive what we are sharing, you need to listen with an open mind.

The first thing we would like to share is the importance of control. In any dynamic situation you can either have control over the events and direct them or have no control and end up being frustrated and face disaster.

A simple example will illustrate the point. A parked car is not dynamic. It is static. In a static situation nothing changes. The moment that car begins to move, it becomes dynamic and there is constant change. So let us say that the car is going at 25 miles an hour and the brakes fail AND THE STEERING WHEEL GETS LOCKED. You would not feel safe in that car because it is a dynamic situation out of control. It is chaotic. However, if that car were in good condition, you would not mind being in that car even if it were speeding at 60 miles an hour because it is a dynamic situation you can control.

So in any dynamic situation, there are only two possibilities. Either you can control it and therefore direct it and make it grow or you have no control over it and you experience chaos and disaster. There is no third possibility.

I submit to you that Life and Business are dynamic. There are only two possibilities. Either you can control it and make it work for you and succeed or you will have no control and experience frustration and failure. There is no third possibility.

Now all of us want to succeed.

To have control over your business and succeed, the very first thing that you need to do is to equip yourself for success. There is an old saying, "You cannot do business from an empty wagon". You cannot succeed if you do not have the appropriate sales tools and the products. You should dress for success.

The next thing you need to do is to develop your own vision and a work ethic that will help you to develop the results you seek. To do so, you must learn to implement the seven essentials of a Vision. Wishful thinking or day dreaming does not constitute a Vision. You must write down your vision and a Plan of Action that will enable you to make your Vision a Reality.

A vision starts with Imagination. Imagine yourself to be the person you want to become. If you cannot imagine yourself as being what you wish to be, then you will never be able to become what you desire for yourself. So imagine that you can be what you want to achieve and have faith that you can make your dreams come true.

Awareness. Identify your shortcomings and embark on a program to develop yourself. If you need help with this contact the person who sponsored you or someone in your upline.

Responsibility: Take control of your life and help yourself grow.

Objective. Have a definite goal you wish to reach as part of your vision i.e. the number of people you want to sponsor within the first month of becoming a Network Marketer and each month thereafter. Have a monthly goal and then a goal for six months and then one year.

You should also review and if necessary revise your objectives every six months with the help of your sponsor.

Plan of Action: The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. But you will not reach your destination if you miss any of the steps along the way. If you do, you may have to retrace your steps. So identify what you must do each day to reach the goals each week. If you do these daily activities, this will help you to reach your weekly targets. If you reach your weekly targets you will certainly reach your monthly goals. Your daily/weekly activity should include self-help programs such as listening to motivational tapes and other self-improvement tapes. You should also have alternative plans and be prepared to make changes as needed.

Sustained effort: Do not become discouraged. Expect obstacles and disappointments. Continue to work with enthusiasm every day to execute the plan you have set in motion. Your enthusiasm will motivate others and help fulfill your Vision and theirs.

Commitment: Resolve to continue to work effectively and diligently till you reach your goal. You do not fail till you quit. And you cannot succeed without commitment.

Wow doesn't that look complicated. I can tell you that it isn't. Each of us is living our vision every day. You are what you are today because of the particular vision you have for yourself and you are fulfilling your vision every day. If the vision you have for yourself is to get up in the morning and get ready for work, then that is exactly what you will experience. You cannot do anything without a Vision.

Most of us are not even conscious that we are fulfilling our Vision for ourselves each and every day. For instance, even in the simple daily tasks that you perform you are unconsciously fulfilling your vision. Our purpose is to help you recognize that you are living your vision and that vision is real. Once seen, this vision gains greater clarity and develops a life of it's own unless you change it. To change your vision, you must understand the Seven Principles that make up a Vision and how to apply them. For example you know that for the past few years, many teams of balloonists have been trying to go non-stop around the world in a balloon. All the teams of balloonists have tried and failed. During the week of Christmas this year, one team almost made it. However, almost does not count. So the teams that have failed have not given up. What is it that makes them keep going in spite of the expensive and life threatening adventure? Is it the million-dollar prize that has been offered to the successful team? Hardly. It is costing most of them much more than million dollars to make the trip. What keeps them going is their Vision. They have not lost sight of their goal. The goal is to circle our world, non-stop in a balloon. To reach their goal, they are implementing all the Seven Principles of a Successful Vision that we discussed earlier namely:

Imagination: The balloonists imagine that they will be able to circle the globe non-stop even though it has never been done before. They would not even begin if they imagined that they could not succeed.

Awareness: They are aware that it is a very daunting and dangerous task.

Responsibility: They are willing to take charge of the task at hand and do not blame anyone for the risk they are taking and the costs involved.

Objective: They have a clearly defined objective i.e. to circle the globe nonstop in a balloon.

Plan of Action: They have a definite Plan of Action.

Sustained effort: They continue to strive inspite of repeated failures.

Commitment: To succeed they know that they have to continue to strive till they accomplish their goal.

NASA to put man on the moon and return him safely to earth also used these Seven Principles of Success. Once you understand how the Seven Principles of Vision operate, you will soon realize that you are in fact implementing these Seven Principles of Vision even when you do the simplest tasks of daily living such as making a cup of coffee or going to the grocery store. For instance, if you imagined and were convinced that your coffee maker was broken, would you even begin to use it to make a pot of coffee. Of course not. Likewise if you imagined that the grocery store was closed, would you even attempt to go there? Of course not. because these are routine activities you do not think of them as being part of your Vision.

IMAGINATION CREATES THE POSSIBILITY FOR SUCCESS. All successful endeavors begin with IMAGINATION. THE ENGINEERS AT NASA IMAGINED THAT THEY COULD SEND A MAN TO THE MOON AND RETURN HIM SAFELY TO EARTH. BUT IMAGINATION BY ITSELF WILL NOT MAKE YOU SUCCEED. YOU MUST ALSO IMPLEMENT THE REMAINING SIX STEPS THAT MAKE UP A VISION.

If you miss any of the Seven Steps that we have shared, you will not be able to fulfill your vision.

· Vision without Action is merely a dream

· Action without Vision fails due to lack of direction

· Vision with Action can change the world.

To succeed in your business, you need to develop your own Vision.

So before you do anything, the first thing that you need to do is to develop a Vision for your Business and put it in writing. Write it down. It may seem silly but it isn't. Writing down your Vision, forces you to crystallize it. After you have committed your Vision in writing, which includes your daily activity, weekly goals etc. store it in a safe place and refer to it from time to time. You are now ready to take the ACTION necessary to build your Network Marketing business.

I wonder how many of you know who invented the game of Chess. Legend has it that the game of Chess was invented in India by a Hindu Priest. A Hindu Priest is called a Brahmin and like most priests all over the world, he was quite poor. The Brahmin decided to show the game of Chess to his King. The King was very pleased with the game and asked the Brahmin to name his price. The shrewd Brahmin replied, "Your highness, your pleasure is my reward." This pleased the King even more and the King now insisted that the Brahmin must name his price. So the Brahmin told the King, "Since you insist my Lord, all I want is some rice to feed my family." The King asked, "How much rice do you want". The Brahmin pointed to the Board of Chess. On a Chess Board, there are sixty-four squares. So the Brahmin told the King, "All I want you to do Sir is place one grain of rice in the first square, then double it and place two in the second square and then four in the third square and then 8 grains in the fourth square and then go on doubling the grains of rice till you reach the last square. Then if you will give me all the grains of rice that add up in this manner, I will be most grateful".

Without thinking, the King asked, "Is that all"? The Brahmin smiled and replied. That is all my Lord. Done said the King. The King did not realize what he had committed to. If you will take the time to calculate the amount of rice that adds up, you will find out that all the World does not produce that much grain in one year.

This story illustrates a very important point. In Network Marketing your growth is multiplied as you sponsor people who in turn sponsor others. The process may seem slow at first. At the beginning, it may look too slow to make it worthwhile. However, if you stick with it, the growth will be explosive.

You may be surprised to learn that if you double a penny every day for 30 days, you will have a total of more than 10 million dollars. Multiply one penny by 2. Then 2 pennies by 2. Then four pennies by 2 and so on for thirty days and you will be surprised at the explosive growth this process allows.

The one thing that you need to guard against is lack of activity. You must be out there talking to people and do not get discouraged. There will be a lot of people who will discourage you. Do not let them. There are hundreds of reasons why NASA couldn't have successfully reached the moon. NASA succeeded because they didn't pay attention to the hundreds of reasons why they could have failed. They were doing something no one had done before. You are doing something hundreds of people are doing successfully.

Should you need help developing your own Vision, call the person who sponsored you. They will help you get started. Remember; in Network Marketing you are not alone. We are ready and willing to support you. But in order to succeed you must be willing to receive. Remember you need to practice the three Principles vital for success: You need to practice

· Humility to Receive

· Discipline to Achieve and

· Commitment to fulfill.

Now that we have shared with you what you need to do to get started, I would like to share with you the 10 most important two letter words in English,

"IF IT IS TO BE IT IS UP TO ME"

Remember NO ONE can make YOUR VISION come true. Only YOU CAN. So follow the Seven Steps that will make your Vision a reality. Get started now.

Bahram R. Shahmardaan, PhD

Author: The Journey of Life Eternal

Love and Hate: Manifesting Love and Transforming Hate.

http://www.shahmardaan.com/vision.htm

Calmness

2011-05-25T06:16:00.001-07:00

When the waves and surfs on the surface of a lake subside, a true view of whole park appears.
Similarly, our true being emerges from the bottom as our emotion, impression and thoughts subsided.

The word “Emotion” came from a Latin, “Emovere” which means “displacing, moving”. Understanding and controlling of the emotion is starting point for the road to a Buddha.

- Photo: Russel State Park, Georgia, USA

http://foodsfornirvana.blogspot.com

Old Fashioned Values

2011-05-25T05:35:00.000-07:00

by Sean Marshall of Family Rocketship.

So are old fashioned values still relevant today?

Is it possible to live with 20^th century morals and ideals in a 21^st century world?

Do these values really play a role in increasing the romance needed in marriage?

Let’s take a look at three key “old fashioned values” and see how they might help us today.

Chivalry

Chivalry is one of the easiest to indentify as being “old fashioned”. Guys, this is a message especially for us. What would it be like if we, as men, all stood up when a lady entered the room? What would it be like if we took her coat for her? What would it be like if she never had to open a door?

I know from personal experience that most women are a little shocked at first. Then, at a deeper look, you can see that it really makes them feel special – like it’s a way they’ve always wanted to be treated.

Just before my wife and I were married, a piece of advice someone gave me that really stuck with me is, “she never touches a door handle”. Meaning, I need to always be there to hold the door, open the car, and so on. By being chivalrous, you can bring back the true meaning of the word ‘gentleman’.

Even in our busy modern lives, there’s always time for a little chivalry. In fact, it’s one of the best ways to help the ladies feel grateful to you and induce more romantic feelings for you.

Respect

Tied closely to chivalry is respect. Respecting your spouse involves treating him or her the way that makes them feel important. The highest form of respect in marriage is seeing and treating each other like royalty.

One aspect of respect is agreeing to each other’s standards and values and acting accordingly. When my wife and I were engaged, one of my friends found out we were waiting until we were married to have sex. He couldn’t believe it.

“Don’t you want to give it a trial run before you commit?” he asked. “Isn’t that a little too old-fashioned?” My response was that I wasn’t getting married just to have sex. It was (and is) so much more than that. It ultimately boiled down to respecting each other’s values more than giving it a “trial run”.

By respecting one another, your love and admiration of each other will also increase. Then, as a positive side effect, your romance will also increase.

Service

Serving one’s spouse is one of the best ways to arouse romantic feelings. What is romance except the time and care you put in to impress your spouse?

Serving your spouse manifests itself in many ways. It could be picking up a chore they aren’t very fond of. It could be doing something they really enjoy. It could be just taking the time to be involved with them, whatever that may mean at the time. The ways to serve your spouse are almost infinite. It’s just a matter of actively looking for ways to help.

It’s my experience, that as you look for ways to serve your husband or wife and actually do it consistently, that love will be reflected back and yours will be a happy marriage.

So are these values too old-fashioned?

What if we just removed the word “old-fashioned” and simply called them values?

In reality, any value that encourages a more romantic, more loving marriage is never old fashioned.

http://www.simplemarriage.net/ignite-your-romance-with-old-fashioned-values.html

The Art of Unfairness

2011-05-20T21:49:00.000-07:00

It’s hard to love people who betray you.
It’s hard to love people who disrespect you.
It’s hard to love people who appear perfect.
It’s hard to love people who try your patience.
It’s hard to love people who tear at your hearts.

That's not fair.

It’s hard to love people who cause you suffering.
It’s hard to love people who never say thank you.
It’s hard to love people who openly criticize you.
It’s hard to love people who repel you emotionally.

That's not fair.

It’s hard to love people who treat you with contempt.
It’s hard to love people who don’t know how to receive.
It’s hard to love people who always take and never give.
It’s hard to love people who live in a state of ugliness.

That’s not fair.

BUT THAT’S THE THING: Love isn’t supposed to be fair.

If it was, it wouldn’t be love – it would be strategy.

Silly rabbit. Fairness is for kids.

THE WAY LOVE WORKS IS: It finds the people who don’t deserve it – then offers itself to them freely and fully when they least expect it.

If you want to master the art of unfairness, consider these practices:
1. Don’t give – pour. Love is a respiratory requirement. And when you breathe out the love people need, they gasp with joy. Next time you see an opportunity to keep quiet, tell the truth. Especially when there’s no reason to be honest. Lavish and heap and overwhelm people with it. How strong is your honesty asset?

2. Don’t imply – express. Love is the great eraser. And it reminds you that every minor incident is not a supertragedy. Next time someone reflexively apologizes to you for a minor inconvenience, immediately respond by saying, “I forgive you.” What types of people are you afraid to give the benefit of the doubt?

3. Don’t fight – bow. Love is the best comeback. The more successful you become, the more torpedoes will be shot at you. And that’s not fair either. Next time someone rips your art to shreds, say this: “I respect your opinion of my work.” Are you willing to idle your motor even when you feel like grinding your gears?

3. Don’t thank – gush. Love is a brand that is built by hand. Next time you’re debating how to show people how essential they are, write a love letter in the form of something else. Give it away freely and without expectation. And the more handmade, the better. What unsolicited token of love could you give today?

4. Don’t hoard – spray. Love doesn’t discriminate. It should be shared with the people who cannot love you back. No matter how unfair that is. Next time you encounter a tormentor; love them with a constant heart. Even you know for sure that they’re wrong. Are you willing to fall in love with things most people are turned off by?

5. Don’t extract – overflow. Bring forth your heart in every action. Instead of trying to dilute the distaste, just pour in more love. Next time you start a new relationship or partnership with someone, say this: “I want to learn all your little quirks, just so I can say I love you anyway.” Are you demanding that the people who love you change their essential nature so you feel more comfortable?

6. Don’t contract – affirm. When you do what you love, the hatred will follow. That’s not fair either. Next time someone lashes out at you because they know they’re not doing what they love, say this: “I’m so glad you shared that with me. Feedback like yours inspires the hell out of me.” How are you laying a foundation of affirmation with people who are hard to thank?

7. Don’t shine – reflect. If you want people to fall in love with you, help them fall in love with themselves first. Next time you want someone to adore their own reflection, give them a front row seat to their own brilliance. Do you love yourself enough to get out of the way so other people can articulate their fabulousness?

8. Don’t withhold – express. The best way to change the world is to love it first. Next time you want to transform the spirit of people you’re with, love them until they ask you why. Be indiscriminate and promiscuous. Break yourself open and pour yourself out. Are you willing to love something to death to bring it to life?

9. Don’t whine – expand. You can’t keep your door locked. Love means caring when it’s inconvenient. No matter how unfair it feels. Next time you encounter someone most people view as a nuisance, love at a time when opening seems impossible. Are you willing to accept that you don’t need anyone to love you back?

10. Don’t evade – mend. There’s nothing that won’t reveal itself if you love it enough. Next time you get a chance to answer the call to love, stop long enough for your heart to open. And believe that there’s nothing love can’t heal. Have you committed to accepting love from everyone and everything?

11. Don’t suppress – broadcast. What we love shapes us. And your life is measured by how you love. Next time you leave the house, love like it’s a rare jewel that costs everything, but give it away freely like it’s nothing. Are you famous for the people who love you and the way that you love them?

12. Don’t isolate – breathe. Love means showing up when you’re scared. And then leaving room for the other person to decide. That’s not fair. Next time you find yourself on a bended knee, look love in the eye, succumb to its softness and take joy in the moment. Are you caught up in your relationship or just dwelling in your love?

13. Don’t conceal – expose. Love changes the architecture of the heart. And it’s a response to your greatest values found in another person. Next time someone calls you crazy for wearing your heart on your sleeve, say this: “I can’t help it – love does this to me.” Will your love help you discover yourself in others?

14. Don’t require – offer. Love meets a closed heart with kindness. That’s definitely not fair. Next time your ego attempts to turn love into a scorecard, try this: Focus on being a more loving person without worrying about what you’re getting in return. Are you afraid to extend your heart to people who disagree with you?

REMEMBER: If you only love people when it’s fair, you haven’t learned anything.

Maybe it's time to stop being so darn fair with your heart.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How unfair are you willing to be?

http://www.hellomynameisblog.com/2011/05/art-of-unfairness.html
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Publisher, Artist, Mentor
scott@hellomynameisscott.com

Hidden Treasure

2011-05-19T04:37:00.000-07:00

Finding Another Vantage Point

Seeing the world from another perspective can introduce you to all sorts of hidden treasures.

The ocean can look very different, depending on whether you are standing at the shore, soaring above in a plane, or swimming beneath its waves. Likewise, a mountain can look very different relative to where you are standing. Each living thing sees the world from its unique vantage point. While from your window you may be seeing what looks like a huge shrub, a bird in its nest is getting an intimate view of that tree’s leafy interior. Meanwhile, a beetle sees only a massive and never-ending tree trunk. Yet all three of you are looking at the same tree.

Just as a shadow that is concealed from one point of view is easily seen from another, it is possible to miss a fantastic view. That is, unless you are willing to see what’s in front of you through different eyes. Seeing the world from another perspective, whether spatially or mentally, can introduce you to all sorts of hidden treasures. The root of the discovery process often lies in finding another way of looking at the world. The common human reaction to insects is one example. Spinning its web in a dark corner, a spider may seem drab, frightening, and mysterious. But seen up close weaving silver snowflakes between the branches of a tree, they can look like colored jewels.

Sometimes, there are experiences in life that from your vantage point may seem confusing, alarming, or worrisome. Or there may be events that look insignificant from where you are standing right now. Try seeing them from another point of view. Bury your face in the grass and look at the world from a bug’s vantage point. Explore your home as if you were a small child. Take a ride in a small aircraft and experience the world from a bird’s eye view. Just as kneeling down sometimes helps you see more closely when you are looking for lost treasure, so can standing back help you appreciate the broader picture of what you are looking at. In doing so, you’ll experience very different worlds.

Daily Om

On Truth Spoken

2011-05-19T03:29:00.000-07:00

"...truth spoken is a gift given. Truth withheld is more than a gift denied, it is an arrow aimed at the heart.

It has been said that "the truth hurts," but the exact opposite is true. No truth is too hurtful , and no lie is harmless. Because every truth opens your heart to another, and every lie separates it.

Yet know this: The way you say your truth can be hurtful. So speak your truth, but soothe your words with peace.

Love, Your Friend...."
Neal

Marriage and growing up

2011-05-18T00:21:00.000-07:00

What does healthy growing up look like in marriage?

There are two challenges or dilemmas that have major roles in relationships.

The emotional reactivity/rationality challenge and the togetherness/separateness dilemma.

These two forces intermix in various and subtle ways to shape your relationship.

The togetherness/separateness force is a natural force much like the need plants have for sunshine or water. Every plant requires a certain level of sunlight for healthy development -- too much sunshine will kill the plant and too little sunshine will lead to the plant's death.

Marriages are the same in terms of togetherness and separateness. Too much togetherness or too little togetherness, depending on each individual's need, will influence the health of the relationship.

When people need more togetherness than their spouse provides, they are more likely to be emotionally reactive and become less rational. When people need more separateness than their spouse provides, they will invent ingenious ways to achieve separateness.

Problems often arise when one wants (needs) togetherness at a time in which their spouse wants (needs) separateness.

Humans are condemned to be separate yet paradoxically to seek togetherness.

Many people enter marriage or committed relationships with the fantasy that they will nearly always get their togetherness and separateness needs fulfilled whenever they desire. Over time as they become more emotionally fused they art hurt whenever their spouse does not give them what they want.

Some gradually conclude that they will never get their needs fulfilled and thus begin to drift apart.

Those that do this miss the divineness of marriage as a place to grow more basic self.

They miss the many opportunities to manage their anxiety whenever their needs are not satisfied. Know this: No spouse can provide just the right amount of togetherness or separateness.

Therefore, you must learn to self-soothe, to calm yourself, to manage your anxiety, and to self-validate. Then you become a better mate and in the process get a better marriage.

The sacredness of marriage is a great place to develop more basic self and to work on your own level of growing up.

Growing up is the ability to tolerate anxiety!

And no place tests your metal for tolerating anxiety like a committed relationship.

You know you have the spouse you need when you become anxious due to a simple look or comment like, "Why did you turn here?"

Much of the togetherness/separateness dilemma is influenced by one's ability to self-validate, self-soothe, to be intimate with self, and to calm self.

People needing more togetherness than their spouse can provide set themselves up for being held hostage by their spouse.

Grown up people can tap into their own personal source for self-validation and self-intimacy rather than being dependent upon their spouse for validation and intimacy.

Most of us have been reared on a diet of other-validation and are very poor at self-validation.

Grown up people are more in charge of their own life needs and become less dependent upon others. At the same time, they can actually be more available to others because they operate out of more wholeness, rather than out of a state of deprivation.

In short, grown up people have more to give!

Deprivation creates a state that looks a great deal like slavery and takes away choices. Poorly-developed (fusion oriented) people need togetherness, rather than simply wanting to connect. Poorly-developed (individuation oriented) people also need separateness and cannot be close and intimate without needing to distance.

Too much togetherness or too much separateness creates anxiety.

Anxious people are not comfortable to be around.

The well-developed (i.e. grown up) person can be close to others while being a separate individual, all without becoming emotionally reactive. The well-developed individual can choose what emotions he/she wants to experience. Well-developed people are in charge of their emotions rather than their emotions being in charge of them. Well-developed individuals can be intimate and passionate without losing self.

Think of it this way: Those that cannot control themselves will seek to control everything around them.

If people get to where they can stand their ground with their spouse (or family of origin) and take the best shots their spouse (or family of origin) can deliver while calming and soothing themselves, they will find that the rest of the world shoots blanks.

The key is being able to self-validate and self-soothe when you feel that emotional reactivity about to rise.

You'll feel a sense of being in charge of self and open an array of choices in responding when you're calm and rational.

Growing up is the ability to tolerate pain for growth.

Growing up is the ability to fill your emptiness.

Well-developed people still have some degree of emptiness as emptiness is a part of the naturalness of life as a human.

Too much emptiness is the problem.

And emptiness is a result of too little spirituality.

Empty people tend to place undue and unrealistic expectations on others.

The safeguards against too much emptiness are basic self and spirituality.

To sum all this up: No one ever gets a better spouse than they are willing to lose.

If you are fearful of losing the relationship, you will stop the growth processes for both of you.

Thus the challenge is to work on growing yourself up - which frees your spouse to begin growing himself/herself up as well.

Divorce rarely leads to getting a better spouse, because a divorced person usually seeks out another partner that is at their former partner's level of development.

People at like levels of growth attract each other.

You only get a better partner by improving your level of growth. And the best place you can work on growing up is in your current relationship!

Simple Marriage

Twin Flames and Soul Mates

2011-05-15T01:50:00.000-07:00

Soulmates by Artist Lena Reznikova

It always fascinates me to see what brings people together. Why are we drawn into relationships that have a certain destiny? Astrology reveals our psychology, spirituality, evolution, and astrology tells the story about karma and past lives, why we are attracted to specific people, our personal past-life patterns (personality and behavior) are being acted out in the here and now. In other words, time is an illusion your past and future lives are running simultaneously in the present. As an astrological intuitive, I see that no two people have identical astrology or past life history, not even twin flames.

What is a twin flame you may ask?

The term most often has been confused with that of soul mates the two are distinctly different. The greatest love story ever told is the one you have with your very own beloved twin flame. In the beginning we were created in God (Alpha and Omega) in an ovoid white-fire-spirit-light, the soul was split just like the atom (Adam Kadman) into two identical parts (twin flames) each with the same identical soul blueprint. The tai-chi is a symbol of twin flames. Twin flames in love spiraling in infinity.

Twin Flames in Love

Somewhere in cosmos, each one of us has our very own divine other, who carries either the feminine or masculine polarity. This soul memory of our twin flame is so powerful, that we can feel very alone in this world, as we search for that promise of that original perfect love, the twin. No other love can compare to your own twin flame. Twin flames throughout history and literature are seen as tragic love stories i.e., Cleopatra and Mark Anthony, Samson and Delilah. The dark forces of anti-love run rampant on planet earth, working to sabotage twin flames and keep them apart. Often twin flames do not have enough Self-mastery to maintain a healthy partnership. Thus, they seek solace with the next best alternative a soul mate.

Soul Mates Passionate Friends of Old

Soul mates and karmic relationships are the other two positions of partnership. Soul mates can create very happy marriages as they are working on similar soul initiations, life lessons, and projects in this life. Soul mates have been friends for lifetimes and may need each other in this life to satisfy a mission or complete a work. They may not experience the incredible, all-consuming, intense love dynamic as twin flames. Soul mates come in all shapes and sizes and as best friends. I find the very best marriages to be between soul mates they work very harmoniously together in business, raising children and contributing to the community. Soul mates make us feel happier, stronger and richer. President Barak and First Lady Michele Obama are an example of soul mates with a powerful mission.

Karmic Relationships

Karmic relationships are often confused with that of twin flames because they have the same intense attraction and emotional charge. I can’t get you out of my head thing, mental obsession. My body will not stop desiring you, the compulsive sexual attraction. In truth, these are often symptoms of a tragic past life experience from a prior life. Your soul is offering you as a warning Not a green light to get involved. Yet, people often ignore or mistake their Inner Being voice and jump in full speed ahead, only to become hurt, defeated and lost. Karmic relationships are where either the person owes you a karmic-debt or you owe them from a former life. The liaison ends when the debt is paid or when Spirit determines the time of opportunity to play the relationship out is up. We are fast approaching the end of karmic relationships in 3D (third dimensional consciousness).

Karmic Entanglements

All relationships are for mutual growth and personal evolution. How can you tell if you are in a karmic relationship? No relationship is perfect, but if you feel like you need therapy as a result of being with this person, then this could be an indicator. Feeling drained emotionally, physically, and financially are all indicators of a karmic entanglement. Are you doing all the giving and your partner is doing all the taking? Look-out it may be a karmic entanglement. We need to love Self more than the need for any relationship. You are having a relationship with You first. We need to be in a strong healthy relationship with Self in order to be healthy with another. The Age of Aquarius is the age of twin flames and soul mates coming together in love to anchor in our Golden Age. In truth, we are the forerunners of this Great Golden Age dawning. Karmic relationships are 3D egoic right fighting with an addiction to drama. They will not be around in the Age of Aquarius. We must become Self-masters and evolve into soul mate relationships. Saturn moving through Libra (relationships) until 2012 will be examining all of our relationship choices. Saturn rules integrity. If we are not with our true love we may be getting a divorce. If you know of many folks breaking up now it is a positive. This is not a negative for we need to be free to be in the new energy of healthy relationships. Fourth dimensional or quantum relationships are based on real intimacy, commitment, passion and allowing each person to be who-they-really-are.

Are you a ‘damsel in distress’?

“Some Lightworkers are behaving like a lady in waiting for their knight in shining armor to return from the Crusades and rescue them. The knight in shining armor may take the form of a soul mate, the government or even benevolent ET’s. In this incarnation we agreed to become our own savior, to willingly relinquish the familiar and comfortable role of victim with no responsibility that keeps our ego feeling safe.

As old souls, we volunteered to be role models for self-mastery and ascension, by healing our karmic past, standing in our Power, and being willing to step onto the world stage and make a difference in our chosen role as masters. Sabotaged by their ego’s fear-based conditioning and attached by an umbilical cord to the mass consciousness of fear, some Lightworkers will settle for an old knight in rusty armor riding a donkey just to feel safe and avoid fulfilling their soul agreement to be the master teachers, healers and leaders of our time..”-Tips for Transformation, Claudia Coleman

Have you been hiding your light in mediocre relationship? I know that thriving in uncertainty is not the most attractive offering as of late. However, it is what the universe is serving up. We must be willing to change our thinking, beliefs and practices to be at our best. 2010 will be a year of change and unpredictability, your success will be determined by your ability to be flexible and adaptable to changeful conditions.

S/HE WHO IS MOST FLEXIBLE WINS

If we are too rigid we will break in this new energy.

Practice being flexible

Practice being adaptable

Practice being mutable

Practice being grounded

Let go of Control

Flow with the Changes

Celebrate Change

So you can be:

Thriving in Transition

Thriving in Uncertainty

Thriving in Transformation

Sobering Saturn and renovating Pluto have just finished their second pass hitting the reset button on our lives. Forcing us to focus on what is truly valuable to our life path. Including, releasing that which no longer serves you, as you know, resistance is futile for change is inevitable. Patience and perseverance will pay off in the end, as the need to adjust our expectations becomes apparent. I have noticed that I am more fatigued. We are moving into higher dimension 4D and we have this intense astrology. The Shift is taking a toll on our physical bodies. These energetic transitions are causing ailments, sleep disorders, irritability, anxiety, and exhaustion I can’t push myself even if I want too. Get the rest you need be gentle with you. I work out at the gym, it helps me tremendously building strength, flexibility and releasing toxins.

Balance Is The Key to All Successful Relationships

The Universe works in a constant flow of figure eight energy. Giving and receiving equally.

All successful relationships are balanced in giving and receiving equally. It is not about the journey or event (getting with your twin flame of soul mate) it is about your process of growth and self-mastery.

Remember that the biggest relationship and the longest relationship you will have is with Self. If we are not healthy with Self we cannot be healthy with our true mate. Self mastery is the key to being united with your twin flame. The more Self-mastery you garner, the greater you’re light will be to elevate your twin flame up and out of his/her ego illusions of materialism, lesser relationships, distractions, etc and into their Divine Awakening to their True Self, True Purpose on Gaia and Original True Love (you).

The Age of Aquarius is the Age of twin flames and soul mates. That is why the collective negative forces want to sabotage the divine lovers and keep them apart. The power of true love to heal our economy, planet and people comes from twin flames and soul mates united in purpose. If we had a larger group of soul mates and twin flames joined today. We would wonder where all the problems we are facing had gone? Instead, we would be basking in the Sun of our dawning age of love, freedom and truth. “Develop your own following. Support everything you do and admire your efforts and actions. Your dedication to Self encourages you. Your belief in Self steadies you. Your trust in Self honors you. Everything you need, you can give to you. It is yours.”-Ivo/Lisa Dorr

Happy Valentine’s Day! Big hugs and kisses.

L OVE, Kelley

http://www.kelleyrosano.com/archives/1252/

"The healthy Eros/Psyche relationship is one of empathy and intimacy, safety and passion. It is joyful and totally relaxed. When conflicts come up, as they inevitably will, there are means of negotiation. This is "soulful" love which includes many results of self-consciousness. It is generative in nature. There is bonding, commitment rather than vulnerability, self-disclosure, sensuality, ecstasy, as well as respect, caring, belonging, togetherness, toleration, and constancy." ~ Iona Miller

Hinduism about Karma

2011-05-14T21:37:00.000-07:00

"The process in how we develop Karma is very important because through each Karmic experience we go through a re-birth process to learn or experience something to become more spiritual and practice humility. Humility is an action and tendency, therefore anything good or bad that we do there is a result is graduated into more bad or good. Through this graduation it reaches our soul and our physical body. For example we may become very ill not necessarily because we are bad people or did bad things it just means what ever that you are doing no longer benefits you and since you are not able to learn through your action the result is that it manifest it self into our physical body.

In Hinduism, it is believed that we must do what ever we can not take ill actions, and reactions to eliminate or reduce bad karma so that we can encompass good karma to be fruitful in this life time so that we have fewer lessons to learn in the births to come. The sublime bliss is to release our moksha (inner soul) so that we are better people in next life time. A person who comes into this life time with released moksha can acquire a blissful moksha so that they can prosper in this life time. I am sure you have heard the saying, “why do good people die and bad people continue to live and prosper?” This is because the good has released their moksha and going to a place where they have good fortune in the next life time and there comes a time when they will not be born again until they are a perfect being without greed, attachment to materialism, and evil deeds.

Good people usually give things without asking for anything in return, good people often can be those who have the least materialistic things, good people are usually those suffer quite often and get the least. Why? Because these people have learned to detach tangible things out of their lives and bring humility into their lives. This means that body and mind will bring the ultimate life which is known in the Gita as Brahman. When a person reaches the Brahman stage they are at their last life time where life is not so bad but the lessons are difficult continuing their lives through humility and spirituality."

Maharani

Remember The Importance Of Humility

2011-05-12T03:51:00.000-07:00

“I got this insight when I was asked to teach a class on humility at Harvard College. I asked all the students to describe the most humble person they knew. One characteristic of these humble people stood out: They had a high level of self-esteem. They knew who they were, and they felt good about who they were. We also decided that humility was defined not by self-deprecating behavior or attitudes but by the esteem with which you regard others. Good behavior flows naturally from that kind of humility. For example, you would never steal from someone, because you respect that person too much. You’d never lie to someone, either.

It’s crucial to take a sense of humility into the world. By the time you make it to a top graduate school, almost all your learning has come from people who are smarter and more experienced than you: parents, teachers, bosses. But once you’ve finished at Harvard Business School or any other top academic institution, the vast majority of people you’ll interact with on a day-to-day basis may not be smarter than you. And if your attitude is that only smarter people have something to teach you, your learning opportunities will be very limited. But if you have a humble eagerness to learn something from everybody, your learning opportunities will be unlimited.

Generally, you can be humble only if you feel really good about yourself—and you want to help those around you feel really good about themselves, too. When we see people acting in an abusive, arrogant, or demeaning manner toward others, their behavior almost always is a symptom of their lack of self-esteem. They need to put someone else down to feel good about themselves.”

Clayton Christensen, Harvard Business Professor and author

Only love can do that

2011-05-04T18:32:00.000-07:00

"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that"

-- Martin Luther King, Jr.

38 Lessons I’ve Learned in My 38 Years

2011-05-03T07:56:00.000-07:00

Post written by Leo Babauta.

Today (April 30) I turn 38 years old.

I’ve been on this earth for nearly four decades. Being in a city like Paris, where there are buildings that measure their age by the millennia, helps put that brief blink of the eye into perspective. But still, it amazes me that I’ve been around that long — I feel like I’ve barely begun.

I’m not usually one to make a big deal about my birthday, but as always, it has given me an opportunity to reflect. I thought I’d share a handful of lessons I’ve learned — as a helpful guide for those just starting out.

This post is for my children, whom I miss greatly across the distance of a continent and an ocean. I hope this will shine a dim light on the streets they have to navigate ahead of them, though I know they’ll still stumble as much as I have.

This is for you, Chloe, Justin, Rain, Maia, Seth and Noelle. I apologize for the length.

38 Lessons I’ve Learned in My 38 Years

1. Always swallow your pride to say you’re sorry. Being too proud to apologize is never worth it — your relationship suffers for no good benefit.

2. Possessions are worse than worthless — they’re harmful. They add no value to your life, and cost you everything. Not just the money required to buy them, but the time and money spent shopping for them, maintaining them, worrying about them, insuring them, fixing them, etc.

3. Slow down. Rushing is rarely worth it. Life is better enjoyed at a leisurely pace.

4. Goals aren’t as important as we think. Try working without them for a week. Turns out, you can do amazing things without goals. And you don’t have to manage them, cutting out on some of the bureaucracy of your life. You’re less stressed without goals, and you’re freer to choose paths you couldn’t have foreseen without them.

5. The moment is all there is. All our worries and plans about the future, all our replaying of things that happened in the past — it’s all in our heads, and it just distracts us from fully living right now. Let go of all that, and just focus on what you’re doing, right at this moment. In this way, any activity can be meditation.

6. When your child asks for your attention, always grant it. Give your child your full attention, and instead of being annoyed at the interruption, be grateful for the reminder to spend time with someone you love.

7. Don’t go into debt. That includes credit card debt, student debt, home debt, personal loans, auto loans. We think they’re necessary but they’re not, at all. They cause more headaches than they’re worth, they can ruin lives, and they cost us way more than we get. Spend less than you earn, go without until you have the money.

8. I’m not cool, and I’m cool with that. I wasted a lot of energy when I was younger worrying about being cool. It’s way more fun to forget about that, and just be yourself.

9. The only kind of marketing you need is an amazing product. If it’s good, people will spread the word for you. All other kind of marketing is disingenuous.

10. Never send an email or message that’s unfit for the eyes of the world. In this digital age, you never know what might slip into public view.

11. You can’t motivate people. The best you can hope for is to inspire them with your actions. People who think they can use behavioral “science” or management techniques have not spent enough time on the receiving end of either.

12. If you find yourself swimming with all the other fish, go the other way. They don’t know where they’re going either.

13. You will miss a ton, but that’s OK. We’re so caught up in trying to do everything, experience all the essential things, not miss out on anything important … that we forget the simple fact that we cannot experience everything. That physical reality dictates we’ll miss most things. We can’t read all the good books, watch all the good films, go to all the best cities in the world, try all the best restaurants, meet all the great people. But the secret is: life is better when we don’t try to do everything. Learn to enjoy the slice of life you experience, and life turns out to be wonderful.

14. Mistakes are the best way to learn. Don’t be afraid to make them. Try not to repeat the same ones too often.

15. Failures are the stepping stones to success. Without failure, we’ll never learn how to succeed. So try to fail, instead of trying to avoid failure through fear.

16. Rest is more important than you think. People work too hard, forget to rest, and then begin to hate their jobs. In fitness, you see it constantly: people training for a marathon getting burned out because they don’t know how to let their straining muscles and joints recover. People who try to do too much because they don’t know that rest is where their body gets stronger, after the stress.

17. There are few joys that equal a good book, a good walk, a good hug, or a good friend. All are free.

18. Fitness doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a long process, a learning process, something that happens in little bits over a long period. I’ve been getting fit for five years now, and I still have more to learn and do. But the progress I’ve made has been amazing, and it’s been a great journey.

19. The destination is just a tiny slice of the journey. We’re so worried about goals, about our future, that we miss all the great things along the way. If you’re fixated on the goal, on the end, you won’t enjoy it when you get there. You’ll be worried about the next goal, the next destination.

20. A good walk cures most problems. Want to lose weight and get fit? Walk. Want to enjoy life but spend less? Walk. Want to cure stress and clear your head? Walk. Want to meditate and live in the moment? Walk. Having trouble with a life or work problem? Walk, and your head gets clear.

21. Let go of expectations. When you have expectations of something — a person, an experience, a vacation, a job, a book — you put it in a predetermined box that has little to do with reality. You set up an idealized version of the thing (or person) and then try to fit the reality into this ideal, and are often disappointed. Instead, try to experience reality as it is, appreciate it for what it is, and be happy that it is.

22. Giving is so much better than getting. Give with no expectation of getting something in return, and it becomes a purer, more beautiful act. To often we give something and expect to get an equal measure in return — at least get some gratitude or recognition for our efforts. Try to let go of that need, and just give.

23. Competition is very rarely as useful as cooperation. Our society is geared toward competition — rip each other’s throats out, survival of the fittest, yada yada. But humans are meant to work together for the survival of the tribe, and cooperation pools our resources and allows everyone to contribute what they can. It requires a whole other set of people skills to work cooperatively, but it’s well worth the effort.

24. Gratitude is one of the best ways to find contentment. We are often discontent in our lives, desire more, because we don’t realize how much we have. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, be grateful for the amazing gifts you’ve been given: of loved ones and simple pleasures, of health and sight and the gift of music and books, of nature and beauty and the ability to create, and everything in between. Be grateful every day.

25. Compassion for other living things is more important than pleasure. Many people scoff at vegetarianism because they love the taste of meat and cheese too much, but they are putting the pleasure of their taste buds ahead of the suffering of other living, feeling beings. You can be perfectly healthy on a vegetarian (even vegan) diet, so killing and torturing animals is absolutely unnecessary. Compassion is a much more fulfilling way to live than closing your eyes to suffering.

26. Taste buds change. I thought I could never give up meat, but by doing it slowly, I never missed it. I thought I could never give up junk food like sweets, fried crap, nachos, all kinds of unhealthy things … and yet today I would rather eat some fresh berries or raw nuts. Weird, but it’s amazing how much our taste buds can change.

27. Create. The world is full of distractions, but very few are as important as creating. In my job as a writer, there is nothing that comes close to being as crucial as creating. In my life, creating is one of the few things that has given me meaning. When it’s time to work, clear away all else and create.

28. Get some perspective. Usually when we’re worried or upset, it’s because we’ve lost perspective. In the larger picture, this one problem means almost nothing. This fight we’re having with someone else — it’s over something that matters naught. Let it go, and move on.

29. Don’t sit too much. It kills you. Move, dance, run, play.

30. Use the magic of compound interest. Invest early, and it will grow as if by alchemy. Live on little, don’t get into debt, save all you can, and invest it in mutual funds. Watch your money grow.

31. All we are taught in schools, and all we see in the media (news, films, books, magazines, Internet) has a worldview that we’re meant to conform to. Figure out what that worldview is, and question it. Ask if there are alternatives, and investigate. Hint: the corporations exert influence over all of our information sources. Another hint: read Chomsky.

32. Learn the art of empathy. Too often we judge people on too little information. We must try to understand what they do instead, put ourselves in their shoes, start with the assumption that what others do has a good reason if we understand what they’re going through. Life becomes much better if you learn this art.

33. Do less. Most people try to do too much. They fill life with checklists, and try to crank out tasks as if they were widget machines. Throw out the checklists and just figure out what’s important. Stop being a machine and focus on what you love. Do it lovingly.

34. No one knows what they’re doing as parents. We’re all faking it, and hoping we’re getting it right. Some people obsess about the details, and miss out on the fun. I just try not to mess them up too much, to show them they’re loved, to enjoy the moments I can with them, to show them life is fun, and stay out of the way of them becoming the amazing people they’re going to become. That they already are.

35. Love comes in many flavors. I love my children, completely and more than I can ever fully understand. I love them each in a different way, and know that each is perfect in his or her own way.

36. Life is exceedingly brief. You might feel like there’s a huge mass of time ahead of you, but it passes much faster than you think. Your kids grow up so fast you get whiplash. You get gray hairs before you’re done getting your bearings on life. Appreciate every damn moment.

37. Fear will try to stop you. Doubts will try to stop you. You’ll shy away from doing great things, from going on new adventures, from creating something new and putting it out in the world, because of self-doubt and fear. It will happen in the recesses of your mind, where you don’t even know it’s happening. Become aware of these doubts and fears. Shine some light on them. Beat them with a thousand tiny cuts. Do it anyway, because they are wrong.

38. I have a lot left to learn. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that I know almost nothing, and that I’m often wrong about what I think I know. Life has many lessons left to teach me, and I’m looking forward to them all.

Identifying a soul mate relationship

2011-04-26T07:24:00.000-07:00

by Dorothy Thompson

THREE KINDS OF SOUL MATES

Did you know there are three main kinds of soul mates?

They are: Karmic, Companion and Twin Flames. Study the different kinds and discover which category your soul mate falls under. This will give you a broader understanding of why he or she has come into your life. To help you, I will explain the differences.

KARMIC SOUL MATE

The karmic soul mate experience is very common. You can have many of these in a lifetime. They enter your life to teach you an important lesson. Karmic soul mates can be co-workers, family members or close friends. One young woman particularly close to me comes to mind. Her name is Amanda Jane, and she is about twenty years my junior. She jokes that I must be her mother from another life. What makes our friendship special is that we touch on a spiritual level.

I often wonder why Amanda was brought into my life. We are very close, but what lesson am I to learn from her? To enjoy life again? Amanda comes from a dysfunctional family. Am I here to teach her a lesson? Am I to show her that she is loved and cherished? It can and does work both ways.

Sometimes karmic soul mate relationships can be romantic in nature; but if so, they won’t last long. That is because these relationships are solely meant for learning lessons and for growth rather than for obtaining a life partner.

Another thing we must keep in mind is that not all karmic relationships are human. Sometimes, pets we consider to be special members of our family can display the same karmic characteristics as humans. An example of this is Avis Townsend’s story “Back With Eli” in the karmic section of the book. Ms. Townsend’s story shows there are special relationships we can have with our pets to the point where the bond between pet and human becomes so deep it’s hard to dismiss it as anything other than the true karmic soul mate relationship.

Another point to remember about karmic soul mates, as well as other kinds of soul mates, is that each one, whether human or animal, comes into our lives for a reason and to teach us a lesson about ourselves.

COMPANION SOUL MATE

A companion soul mate relationship can be a relationship that is romantic in nature. It involves your wife/husband or someone you are intimate with. Oftentimes, these soul mates are not destined to be with us forever but, like Karmic soul mates, are brought into our lives for a purpose.

It is possible to spend a lifetime with your companion soul mate if you haven’t met your twin soul. However, when the twin soul is found, the companion soul mate relationship could suffer. When this happens, the companion soul mate relationship is generally short-lived or, if it continues, a non-satisfying one. However, this is no reason to jump ship when it happens. Remember, there is a reason your companion soul mate is in your life (for example, so you can raise children together).

When your twin soul comes into your life and you are in a companion soul mate relationship, it is important that you take things slowly. It may be that the companion soul mate relationship will come to an end—or it may not. One thing you must keep in mind is that ending an existing relationship solely because one feels one has found one's twin soul is never a good idea, because over time you will realize that both associations are meant to be and both have an important role in your life.

An interesting aspect of the companion soul mate relationship is that we put more of our energies into it. The karmic soul mate relationship tends to go at an easy pace, without much effort from either partner, as it does with twin souls. The companion soul mate bond requires more work on our parts to sustain a healthy, loving atmosphere.

TWIN FLAMES

This is the highest form of soul mate connection. Your twin soul is your other half; to find your twin soul is like finding yourself. We go through our life searching and searching, and what we don’t realize is that we are looking for someone just like us. Sometimes, we find them in this life and, other times, in other lives.

I believe they are always around, but for some reason it is not apparent. Perhaps we close our eyes to them. We don’t listen and observe. We go through life at such a hectic pace we don’t stop and take in things that would otherwise be apparent, so the presence of a soul mate could hit us flat in the face and we wouldn’t even know it. This is sad, because we have missed that one, rare opportunity for total bliss and happiness.

IDENTIFYING A SOUL MATE RELATIONSHIP

In order to find your soul mate, you must know what to look for. I have compiled the ten most important traits in recognizing your soul mate. Read them to help you decide who your own soul mate(s) is.

ACCEPTANCE

Your soul mate must accept you for who you are. He or she must accept your weaknesses as well as your strengths. Your soul mate does not try to change you, nor do you try to change them. He or she lets you be yourself, for the more you are yourself, the stronger your bond with your soul mate has a chance of becoming.

ENCOURAGEMENT

Your soul mate makes you feel good about yourself. He or she never criticizes, only encourages. If they cannot do this, then they are not your soul mate.

NURTURING

Your soul mate cares about you and what happens to you. He is the first to be by your side in accomplishment and defeat. She picks you up when others throw you down. He nurtures your spirit so you can roll with the punches, no matter where they fall.

FRIENDSHIP

Your soul mate is your best friend in the entire world. She or he laughs with you, cries with you, sings with you. They are there for you when life throws you those bad curves; they are there for you when you surpass your highest expectations of yourself. A soul mate will understand you and give you what you want and need without hesitation. She will make you feel at home, comfortable and at ease.

As you would with any friend, take the relationship slow. Savor each milestone of firsts: the first time your eyes meet, the first time his lips brush against yours, the first afternoon spent together walking through the park or along the seashore or even just in your own backyard. You have to remember that if you end up together, these “firsts” will be ingrained in your memory forever. Cherish them.

GENEROSITY

Your soul mate is generous. He gives freely of his time and his possessions. She will ditch whatever she is doing to be with you. He will give you your heart’s desires. She will give you her heart and soul, if need be.

CONVERSATIONALIST

Soul mates are interested in what each other have to say. My soul mate and I would spend hours contemplating the mysteries of the universe. Since we thought alike, we never did stop talking. We talked about our past, our present and our future. As we had so many things in common, each of us was interested in what the other had to say.

PREMONITIONS

You may have premonitions of your future soul mate in dreams. Whether they are when you are asleep or when you are in meditation, you will picture your soul mate as if he or she were standing in front of you. You will note the color of their hair, the sound of their voice, their way of walking. You will picture your soul mate as you want them to be. If you are fortunate enough to be able to do this—and it can happen anytime, anywhere—remember it. For, in time, your soul mate will appear in front of you just as you envisioned.

POSITIVE KARMA

One of the main ingredients for a successful soul mate relationship lies in the power of karma. In layman’s terms, karma is basically the theory that whatever you do, there will be another event to follow that is directly consequential to your actions. Therefore, the law of karma teaches us that what we do today may come back to haunt us tomorrow. How does this apply to the soul mate phenomenon?

If you are in a bad relationship, and you continue to remain in that relationship, you are setting up a path of bad karma for yourself because of the negative energies that arise. Once you learn to set up a shield against this negativity, good karma will infiltrate your life and open your soul to a promising and healthy soul mate relationship.

Not until this happens will you ever receive a satisfactory soul mate union. Both parties must bring good karma into the relationship. You have to remember that we are all souls, just pure energy “visiting” this planet; and we have been here many times. Neither partner can come from a place where negativity is present, or the soul mate experience just won’t occur..

SPIRITUAL CONNECTION

You will feel a connection with your soul mate, as if you had known him or her before. You will feel an energy radiating between you. You will look into each other’s eyes and see each other’s soul, for that is where the true soul mate connection lies.

Not enough can be said about the spiritual connection between soul mates. It is the most important quality in a soul mate relationship. You will feel this in the depths of your heart and soul. Without it, the soul mate relationship is doomed.

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

Your soul mate will love you more than anything or anyone he has loved in his entire life, although he will give you freedom to be who you are. “You cannot possess a soul mate any more than you can possess a person in your physical world,” says Robert Egby, author of Thank You For The Flowers. “Soul mates are free and must always be so. Love cannot be possessed or controlled. Soul mates are together because they share an unconditional love, a mutual vibration. There are no exceptions.”

PERFECT TIMING

Other things come into play in seeking your soul mate that you might not count on. One is perfect timing. If it isn’t the right time for you and your soul mate to be together, it will likely not happen.

DO YOU ONLY HAVE ONE SOUL MATE?

I have learned in doing research for this book that many people do not believe in soul mates. They say they have searched and searched for the one person who will make them happy, and have given up. They have come to the conclusion they do not believe there is one, and only one, person who is perfect for them.

They are absolutely right. There is no one person who is your soul mate because, as I noted earlier, there are at least three types of soul mates. Those who do not believe at all are missing an important part of their life experience, for it is our search for our soul mate that makes our spiritual journey complete.

The bottom line is, don’t give up. Our soul mates are out there. Perhaps, they are right under our noses and we don’t even realize it.

Dorothy Thompson

When you have really found true gratitude

2011-04-26T00:45:00.000-07:00

When you exist in the great state of gratitude, you become a person who only wants to give. You become so grateful that it takes over your life, and you can't find enough opportunities in a day to give. You give joy, you give love, you give money, you give appreciation, you give compliments, and you give kindness. You give the best of yourself in your job, in your relationships, and to strangers.

You will know when you have really found true gratitude, because you will become a giver. One who is truly grateful cannot be anything else.

May the joy be with you,

Rhonda Byrne

31 Life Lessons

2011-04-23T08:28:00.000-07:00

by Tina Su (excerpt)

31 Life Lessons

1. It’s okay to make mistakes. Mistakes and failures are there to teach us. If we learn from them and correct the way on our path, better things will result from it.

2. We create our own reality. We have the power to break mental patterns that no longer serve us, and we have the power to consciously choose thoughts that empower us. It’s only a matter of breaking old habits and creating new ones.

3. Finding validation and seeking love from another person through relationships is a self-destructive path. Those types of relationships never last, and when they end, they burn in heartache. You must love and respect yourself first. When you wholeheartedly love who you are, the world will fall in love with you, and the right relationship will fall into place. Until I fully accept, love and respect myself, I will continue to attract those relationships rooted in fear, insecurities and disempowerment.

4. A few moments of silence each day will broaden your horizon, strengthen your self-awareness, and heighten your inner clarity. With clarity, you can do anything.

5. You will never be ready for what you want to do. The trick is to just start it anyway, and to develop the discipline to work at it consistently. Taking baby steps in the direction you want to go means that you will eventually get there.

6. Life is short. Live it the way that will make you happy.

7. Change creates resistance. We don’t like change and we will always gravitate towards what is familiar because familiarity keeps us feeling safe. But sometimes, change is good for us. In fact, change is inevitable. Change is the only thing that is for certain. Embrace change.

8. Don’t be afraid to dream. Dreams create the vision that governs the story of our lives. Our dreams create our future. Dream big. Remember #6, life is short.

9. Money is a renewable resource. If you lose some money, don’t sweat it. You can always make more. However, if you spend valuable time stressing over money, or lost opportunity, you’ll never get that time back. Time is more valuable than money.

10. Fear comes from uncertainty of the unknown. It happens to all of us. It is part of the natural mechanisms for our survival. Its job is to keep us safe. You can never suppress fear, nor ignore fear, nor cure fear. The trick is to fully embrace fear by simply acting despite the feeling of fear. When you’ve fully faced fear and experienced it, the fear will subside.

11. Self-doubt, like fear, seeks everyone. You are no exception. Just do it anyway.

12. Time is the most important resource in the world. It is the only non-renewable resource in your life. Choose wisely how you spend time, and with whom you spend it.

13. Less is more. Say less, listen more. Own less things, and you’ll experience more freedom.

14. The people with whom you spend time matter. They influence you in unconscious ways, both positive and negative. Your income is the average of the three people with whom you spend the most time. Your potential to achieve greatness can be limited by the negative influence of the opinions of the people around you. Similarly, if all your friends were living self-empowered and awesome lives, wouldn’t that rub off on you to live extraordinarily? Choose your friends carefully.

15. We really don’t need very much (stuff) to be happy.

16. The most important thing we can do is to love ourselves. By making self-love a priority, everyone and everything we care about will be better because of it. We become better parents, employees, lovers, friends and contributing members of society.

17. Learn to let go. Surrender to what is happening right now. Fully embrace and experience this moment, regardless of what this moment holds. Like all moments, this moment too shall pass.

18. People are really kind and helpful if you give them a chance. Be open to receiving without feeling the need to “pay them back.” Let others know what they’ve provided for you, and how much you appreciate their help. Fully receiving what someone else has to offer is a gift in itself.

19. We are stronger and more resilient than we think we are.

20. The most damaging influence in our lives is the limiting beliefs we hold about ourselves. It’s the unexamined limiting beliefs that cause us to sabotage our success, sell ourselves short, and limit our own potential to living extraordinary lives. If you are not achieving the kinds of results you want in your life, sit down with a journal and examine your beliefs.

21. Complaining, criticizing and gossiping is a waste of time and saps your energy.

22. Being a victim is a lot easier than being a leader. Leaders take responsibility and own up to their part in the doing. Leaders take action to change themselves and to overcome setbacks. Victims refuse to take responsibility for their own actions and emotions. Victims would rather sit back passively and give their power away by placing blame on an external trigger. Be the leader of your life. You are the only one capable of the job. Take responsibility of your own emotions. The world needs more leaders.

23. Forgiving someone is a lot easier than we think. When we forgive, we are setting ourselves free. Forgiveness is not about other people; it’s about letting the pain go in our own minds.

24. It’s easy to find fault in others–much easier than seeing fault in ourselves. How we view the world is a reflection of how we view ourselves, and this gives us insight to our internal thought patterns. Next time you catch yourself complaining about some fault in others, ask yourself, “What is it about myself, in relation to this topic, that I don’t like?”

25. Naps are good. It’s okay to sleep in, sometimes. We need rest to recharge. Staying up late into the night is bad for our bodies, and we pay the price with our health.

26. There is always a silent and graceful solution to every problem. When feeling nervous, stressed or anxious, stop everything and take three deep breaths. Or better yet, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing. Try the mantra “I am safe. All is well.”

27. Master creations in the arts (writing, drawing, music, dance, even software programming) are the result of someone’s love of the process of creation. Masterpieces are never created as a result of someone trying to be brilliant. Get out of your head and get into your heart. Stop overthinking! Just relax, start creating and fall into the flow. Focus on what you are doing without being concerned with what other people will think. Create for the sake of creation. Create out of love of the process, and you just might find that your resulting creation turns out to be a masterpiece.

28. When you passionately and genuinely believe in something, it will change you. You will embody the energy of your passion, and the world will notice the light that you shine. When you believe in yourself, others will believe in you, too.

29. Learn to say no. If you don’t want to do something—go to a party, accept an obligation, meet someone—just say “no, thank you.” You don’t owe anyone an excuse or explanation.

30. Giving unsolicited advice to others—regardless of how much you feel that they need it—is a waste of time and energy. Unless your advice was specifically requested, what you say will not be heard or appreciated. Unsolicited advice is perceived as annoying. Don’t do it.

31. Slowing down to self-reflect, to contemplate, to sit quietly, to journal, to breathe, or to clear your mind will actually make you more productive than if you worked until you collapsed. Slowing down has more benefits than just a clear mind; one side effect is a happier life.

Bonus Life Lessons

I started with a big list of life lessons, then I started trimming until I was left with 31. The following are additional important life lessons I couldn’t leave on the editing floor:

1. People will not change no matter how badly you want them to. People will only change if they want to. Instead of trying to change others, change yourself. Change your perception about the person, and allow them to be themselves, without you trying to change them.

2. We are not alone. No matter how bizarre or embarrassed or pathetic we feel about our own situation, there will be others out there experiencing the same emotions. When you hear yourself say “I am all alone,” it is your mind trying to sell you a lie so you will continue to feel sorry for yourself.

3. We are the only ones who can solve our own problems. We are the only ones who can change ourselves. We are the only ones who can choose to see the good, to see hope, to pick ourselves up, and to accept help. We must rely upon and trust ourselves.

4. My body knows what I need. Sometimes, I get sick because my body is trying to get my attention. Its message is usually something like this: relax, recharge, you’re working too much, drink water, exercise and get more sleep. When I get sick, I listen to my body’s messages and I heal.

5. Watch my language. The words I use to describe my experiences carry with it more power than I can consciously fathom. Saying that “I Can’t” do something has a profound effect on my beliefs about what is possible. It can limit my potential or empower me with possibilities. Choose your words carefully.

6. Help other people get what they want. You will be rewarded not only financially, but also with the priceless reward of fulfillment.

7. Trying to be right is a waste of time and energy. I would rather be happy than right.

8. Drink lots of water.

9. When you want something and you ask for it, you will more likely get it. Don’t be afraid to ask.

10. Within each of us lies a vast well of wisdom. It is a source within the depth of our soul which connects to infinite intelligence and the capacity to heal all our wounds. To access this source and to hear its messages, we must slow down, quiet our minds and go within. Only in the stillness of our being can we recognize the soft ripples of our inner voice and intuition. Learn to trust it. It is always right.

“The day is ending, our life is one day shorter.

Let us look carefully at what we have done.

Let us practice diligently,

…Putting our whole heart into the path…

Let us live deeply each moment in freedom,

So time does not slip away meaninglessly.”

~Thich Nhat Hanh

Here’s to a year (and a life time) dedicated to happiness–where we shall focus on the good in our lives, cut out gossiping and criticizing others, create healthy habits, work on meaningful projects, dream about future creations, go on dates and spent more quality time as a family.

If I had to choose, the most important life lesson is summarized to this: Life is so short. What’s happened is already in the past. The future is here for us to create. The power is in this moment. In this moment, we have the choice to create painful memories from the past, or we can create a beautiful tomorrow. You have that power.

A beautiful life is closer than we think. It’s already here … if we choose to see it.

http://thinksimplenow.com/wisdom/life-lessons/

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