Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Hidden Gems


All of the events in our lives lead to other events, they are all connected.

Sometimes we have an experience that we don’t understand, but if we look deeply, or wait long enough, a reason for that experience will usually reveal itself. All the events in our lives lead to other events, and all that we have manifested in this present moment is the result of past events and experiences. We cannot easily tease apart the many threads that have been woven together to create our current reality. Experiences that don’t make sense, as well as any that we regret, are just as responsible for the good things in our lives as the experiences we do understand or label as “good.”

This is especially important to remember at times when we feel directionless or unsure of what to do. It is often at times like these that we take a job or move to a place without really knowing if it’s the right thing to do. We may ultimately end up leaving the job or the place, but often during that time we will have met someone who becomes an important friend, or we may have an experience that changes us in a profound way. When all the pieces of our life don’t quite make sense, we can remember that there may be some hidden gem of a reason that we are where we are having the experiences we are having. 

It’s fun to look back on past experiences with an eye to uncovering those gems—the dreadful temporary job in a bland office building that introduced you to the love of your life; the roommate you couldn’t tolerate who gave you a book that changed your life; the time spent living in a city you didn’t like that led you into a deeper relationship with yourself. Remembering these past experiences can restore our faith in the present. Life is full of buried treasures. Chances are, you’re sitting on some right now. 

From Dailyom.com


Monday, October 24, 2011

Heart Healers

By Sally Kempton


Set Love Free


I am having trouble letting go of a relationship that is over. We had a soul-mate connection but an unsatisfying and stormy relationship, yet I keep hoping that it's not quite over. I am still in love, and my instinct is to nurture the love. How do I let go?

In our culture there's a basic assumption that being in love means we are supposed to walk off into the sunset together. The truth is that two people can be close, love each other deeply and romantically, and not be suited to have a long-term relationship. In fact, having a soul-mate connection is not necessarily a good platform for a permanent relationship. If you accept the idea of karma, you can view that strong sense of connection as a sign that you share an intense karma from the past. The feeling of being soul mates can actually be the karmas drawing the two of you together so that you'll work out some unfinished business or help each other in some specific but limited way.

Paradoxically, being willing to accept the fact that you may not be a couple is the first step toward keeping the love while letting go of the suffering. There may still be pain—loss and endings are painful. By accepting the loss, however, you open the door for a different kind of flowering, between either you and this person or you and someone else.

So, here's my suggestion: Every time you feel the love and pain of the relationship, formally offer it up to the universe or to God. Do this over and over, and you'll begin to notice that your love is being freed of its clinging, possessive quality and becoming more a tender feeling.

When this happens, another possibility emerges. The soul-mate quality in the relationship can develop into a deep friendship. You can then free yourself from romantic expectations and the pain they engender, and genuinely wish the person well. That takes time and attentiveness to your own mind. I'd suggest working with your mind and heart through the following inner practices.

Set aside 30 minutes when you can be alone in your room or in nature. Go into your heart center. Imagine that this person is there with you and say, as if to him, "I release you. I offer our relationship and the love I have for you to the universe."

Stay with this thought or prayer until you feel a shift or release. There may be tears, emotional release, and pain. At some point you should get a sense of letting go. It doesn't have to be a big letting go—just a small release will do. Then, whenever you think of him, have the thought, "I release you and our relationship to the universe." Send him loving kindness by saying or thinking, "May you be happy; may you be healthy; may you be free." Whenever you wish him happiness, wish the same for yourself.

Second, along with that, I strongly suggest that you keep noticing the thoughts and fantasies that come up around this person. Practice seeing them as passing thoughts, instead of identifying with the thoughts and the patterns of feeling. Once you can see a thought as simply a thought—not necessarily a truth—the next step is to let it go. In Sanskrit, certain kinds of thoughts are calledvikalpahs, sometimes translated as "dreams" or "fantasies." One vikalpah that really hooks us is the dream of the perfect love, the perfect relationship. If we identify with that fantasy, it can become an escape for us—a kind of alternate universe that we enter over and over again, effectively preventing us from inhabiting the places and situations of our "real" lives. Fantasy keeps us out of the present. When we practice the mantra If only I were with him, I'd be happy, we make our happiness unreachable, unattainable, outside ourselves, and outside the moment in which we are living. Working with the thoughts—noticing the thought arising, recognizing it as simply a thought, then letting it go—begins to break this pattern and takes us back into our present.

***

The Bhakti Sutras, a great text of Indian devotional literature, teaches that any human emotion serves as a way to love God. God can be loved as a friend, as a parent, even as a child. And the sutras say that the most powerful form of devotional love is the romantic style of devotion, calledmadhura bhakti (literally, "sweet devotion"). The intensity and longing in romantic love creates a powerful fire in the heart. When that fire is turned inward and is directed toward God or toward the inner Self, then it can transform our character, open our heart, and move us into great depths of surrender and adoration. I'm telling you this as a prelude to suggesting a way to work with these fantasies.

There are two approaches to dealing with an impractical and potentially dangerous romantic passion. One way is through discipline, self-inquiry, and renunciation—in other words, by cutting off the fantasies when they arise. The other, more inclusive, path is the way of the ancient yoga philosophy known as Tantra. Tantra asks you to focus on the feelings behind the fantasies—the pure feeling of longing for love that we all possess. This longing is activated by our connection to another person, yet it is much larger than that individual. When we find it and follow it, the longing can lead us toward Essence itself.

Both approaches work: One uses discipline to remove the fantasy, and the other moves into and through the fantasy to the longing at its core. By attending to the call of your deepest desire, you can make your fantasies into pointers rather than ends in themselves.
The way of discipline is the basic practice of interrupting thoughts and fantasies, the way you would do in meditation. Begin by making a decision that when the fantasies arise, you'll interrupt them. You may have to do that again and again—perhaps every morning when you wake up. Remind yourself that you don't want to go down the road of fantasy. Explain to yourself that they distract you and ultimately cause suffering. Then, each time one comes up, imagine yourself offering it to a fire in your heart. Just keep offering your thoughts to the internal fire again and again. This is an essential meditative discipline that helps break any kind of cognitive pattern.

To try the Tantric approach, begin by finding a quiet place to sit that's free from distractions. Then spend some time bringing up the fantasies. Fully feel the emotions and inner sensations aroused by your fantasy romance: the pure longing, the pure sexual intensity, if that is how it manifests. Try to feel the sensation deep inside the core of your body. Then bring the sensation up into the heart area and hold your attention there, feeling the emotion expand. Imagine it as light.

At that point, totally remove the image or the fantasy of your dream lover. This is crucial. Instead, concentrate on the feeling state itself. Notice its flavors—perhaps aliveness, sadness, longing, heart-ache, love. Let yourself sit with the feeling state of your heart. 

Recognize that these are yourfeelings, your longings, your love. With that awareness, let the feeling state continue to shift and expand.
The result of this practice is the dawning recognition that what you really are after, what you really long for, is the felt state triggered by your romantic fantasies. The more you can touch the feeling state in your body while letting go of the image that triggered it, the more you'll begin to see that it is your own love, your own internally generated aliveness.

an your lover. Bring into your awareness the image of different people in your life—people whom you love, people whom you're annoyed by, people whom you've seen on TV, people who are suffering, people who are sick, people who are happy and well. One by one, bring those people into your heart space and hold them there within the feeling space that you've created. Or, if it feels more natural, imagine yourself breathing the feeling state into those people.
A second step with the Tantric approach might be to expand the feeling to include people other th

Let the romantic feeling spread to include as many others as you possibly can. Realize that the love you feel can be universal. When you allow your focused, personal affection to expand in that way, you can begin to recognize how many opportunities for loving there actually are in this world.

Take it one step further and acknowledge the truth that is at the heart of the bhakti or devotional path: Inside your feeling is God. A feeling of love—any feeling of love—is God. Be aware that this feeling within you is Divine Presence.

These two practices, the basic mind discipline and the Tantric, both help fantasies lose their stickiness. But the Tantric approach can help you open your heart to love's healing depths.


Wednesday, October 19, 2011

One kind thing



Helping others makes us happy--and it makes life meaningful.  But how do we foster kindness in children?   
  
Try asking these two questions at dinner tonight:

(1) What is one kind thing that someone else did for you today?

(2) What is one kind thing that YOU did for SOMEONE ELSE today?

Younger kids may need help brainstorming what "kind things" are - the more things in this category the better.  Smiling at a grouchy stranger or hugging a teacher count!
  
May you be happy, 
CC signature 
Christine Carter, Ph.D.

Hat Tip: These questions came from Jenny at Doing Good Together   

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Speak with the language of love



Listen with the ears of tolerance
See through the eyes of compassion
Speak with the language of love.
Rumi
(Love u all) ♥



Sunday, September 18, 2011

Simplicity, patience, compassion

“Simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures. Simple in actions and thoughts, you return to the source of being. Patient with both friends and enemies, you accord with the way things are. Compassionate toward yourself, you reconcile all beings in the world.”
― Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Magnetism — Your Buffer Against Hard Times


by Swami Kriyananda
In 2004 a forest fire approached the entrance to Ananda Village and for a while, it looked like it would destroy our main facilities. Village residents converged near the entrance and chanted and prayed. As the fire came closer, everyone faced the oncoming fire and chanted “Aum” with great energy and determination. Suddenly the wind shifted direction and the community was saved. The fire marshal said, “If I had not seen this with my own eyes, I would not believe it.” But we have seen things like this again and again.
There are miracles, yes, but magnetism is what draws those miracles. Magnetism is the most important thing in life. I believe we’re on the eve of difficult times but if you have the right kind of magnetism, even if there’s a depression, it won’t be a predicament for you. Success in every aspect of life depends on the power of your magnetism to attract it. By developing “success magnetism,” you will find victory in all situations even in the midst of widespread difficulties.
Step One: Will Power and Concentration
How does magnetism work?  Magnetism is generated by the strength and quality of your energy flow. When you pass electricity through a wire, it generates a magnetic field. The more electricity passes through the wire, the stronger the magnetic field.
Human magnetism works on the same principle. Whenever you will something to happen, a ray of energy goes out, projected by the power of your thought. That energy generates a magnetic force-field which can attract to you the objects of your expectations. The strength of that magnetism depends on your level of energy. People of low energy generate very little magnetism. Those with high energy can perform miracles.
“The greater the will, the greater the flow of energy” was one of Paramhansa Yogananda’s oft-stated maxims. The more you focus your energy one-pointedly, the stronger your magnetism to attract what you need. Concentration is thus the first necessity in developing that kind of will power. If your energy goes out in many different directions, you have very little magnetism. When you can focus your mind one-pointedly, you are already far on the way to developing a powerful will and the magnetism to attract success.
Step Two: Enthusiasm
For your magnetism to gain power, it is vitally important to summon up strong feeling for what you want to accomplish. Whatever you are doing, do it with all your heart. Magnetism is the result not only of focused energy but also of enthusiasm.
It has been said that nothing great has ever been accomplished without enthusiasm. Thomas Edison, for example, went through 43,000 experiments before he found the right filament for the light bulb—such was his deep feeling for the work he was doing. If you look at the lives of great scientists, you will find that they were passionate men and women and absolutely dedicated to the search for scientific truth. They could never have accomplished what they did without enthusiasm.
Always be careful to keep your enthusiasm from spilling over into excitement. For the will to become will power, it must be directed calmly, with control. As that happens, even when others have failed, somehow you will succeed.
Step Three: Positive Thinking 
To develop magnetism, always be positive in your thinking. You will attract success if your mind is positive, and you will attract failure if it isn’t. A positive attitude will bring a positive response.
I had a very interesting experience of this principle at the airport in 1955, when I was leaving for France. When checking in at the airline counter, I stood behind a man whose baggage was obviously overweight. This man, when told he had to pay more, became very upset and made threats about not using that airline in the future. He even asked to see the manager. The angrier he got, the firmer the airline official became in his refusal to back down.
My baggage was much heavier than this man’s, but as I went up to the counter I thought, “This man is a friend. God is in this form,” and with that positive thought, I smiled at him. He looked at my baggage and said, “Well, what have we got here?” And without another word he allowed my baggage to go through. When your thoughts are positive, when they’re kind and helpful, you will find that others will want to help you.
I passed my music composition exam in college using this same principle. I didn’t go to any classes, but right before going in to take the exam, I read the bold print rules in the textbook. Two rules stuck in my mind, one of which was that a bass line should go in the opposite direction to the melody. Armed with this information, and with a very positive, cheerful outlook, I went in to take the exam.
We were asked to write a melody for a bass line. Suddenly, into my mind came a beautiful oriental melody. Later, the professor told me that it was on the strength of that melody that he gave me a good grade in the course.
The inspiration for that melody came because I was positive in my expectations and free of doubt. If you have doubt, if you think, “Well, gee, I don’t know if I can do this,” inspiration won’t come. But if all your energy is strongly focused in a positive direction, you will develop the kind of magnetism that will attract inspiration, answers to questions—all sorts of things. Even the right, pertinent knowledge can be attracted by the right, magnetic expectation.
Step Four: Solution Consciousness
“Solution consciousness” is another important aspect of magnetism.  Many people have “problem consciousness.” You ask them to do something and their response is always: “Yes, but!”  People like that never succeed. Whenever you have a problem, don’t think of it as a problem. See it as an opportunity. You will be amazed how much you can accomplish when you eliminate the word “can’t.”
Yogananda was very strong on solution consciousness. During World War II, he wanted to build a church in Hollywood, but new buildings were not allowed in Los Angeles.  Everybody told him, “It’s not possible.” He said, “Oh, yes it is.” Since there was no law against renovation, he found an old building that was barely standing and moved it on to property he had bought. The neighbors complained bitterly but he developed the building into a beautiful church.
Don’t dwell on difficulties longer than it takes to define them clearly. With solution-consciousness you can have success. Solution-consciousness actually attracts right answers to itself, whereas problem-consciousness prevents answers from even arising in the mind.
Step Five: Kindness
An attitude of kindness is also important for magnetism. Kindness is very magnetic. When people are kind, they draw other people’s help in return. In true kindness, there is much more giving than receiving. True kindness is an all-giving energy.
Paramhansa Yogananda was all-giving in just this way. Once he went to a cane shop, and being a representative of an organization, he wanted to spend the organization’s money wisely, so he bargained. After bargaining and getting the best price he could, he thought, “This man has such a poor shop. I want to help him.” And he gave him back more money than he had saved!
The shopkeeper said, “You are a gentleman, sir.” He gave Yogananda the best cane he had. When Yogananda came home, he said, “What a poor floor that man had. I think I’ll get him a new floor.” That kind of kindness is what you need to develop.
The more you give generously of yourself—to God, to life, to other people, the more the karmic law supports you in return. Your ability to succeed in business, or in any other endeavor, increases to the extent of your awareness of your kinship with the great web of life.
Step Six: Non-attachment
One of the basic teachings in the Bhagavad Gita is nishkam karma: action without desire for the fruits of action. Many self-help books say you should desire intensely whatever you want, for that very intensity will draw to you the object of your desire. When desire and attachment exist, however, what you attract may not be what you need or it may be much less than you could have had. When putting out energy to achieve a goal, it is much better to focus on the energy flow itself, not the specific objective, even when your need is for a specific sum of money.
Years ago members of Ananda Village were invited to pledge different amounts of money to help with the enhancement of “downtown Ananda.” We needed $3000 to pave the entrance driveway. I knew that no one else could come up with that kind of money so I decided (secretly) to pledge the whole amount myself, even though I didn’t have nearly that amount. The money was needed in two weeks.
Although I made a request for a specific sum of money, in praying to Divine Mother I concentrated on the energy of the prayer, rather than the specific request. With great will power, I projected the energy of the prayer upward from my heart and then out through the spiritual eye. I didn’t visualize a specific sum of money or how the money might come. Instead I focused on the purpose this money was meant to serve with the thought, “Divine Mother knows more than I, and will take care of that end of things.”
One morning nearly two weeks later I saw an envelope lying on the floor inside my front door. In it was a letter and check for $3000 from a friend who had once lived at Ananda and had recently received an inheritance.
When you act with non-attachment, you can be sure of one thing: when success comes, it will be in the best possible way. Whatever you need, send energy outward as a “loving demand.”  Energy flows much more forcefully when you think of it as a flow, without fixed and definite goals.
Step Seven: Attune to a Greater Reality
The power to attract success of every kind increases in direct proportion to your ability to recognize, and attune yourself to, a reality greater than your own. The more you unite your awareness to the Infinite Consciousness, the more effective your power will be. What you can on your own do is limited but what God can accomplish through you is limitless.
It’s absolutely thrilling to live life this way and to experience how much can be accomplished. I want to assure you of this because in hard times, there will be a lot of suffering. But you don’t have to suffer if you put out the right kind of energy.
From an April 2011 talk in Los Angeles, California.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Focus on the Good

Raise Your Vibration

There are many ways to raise your vibration including thinking positive and uplifting thoughts.

Everything in the universe is made of energy. What differentiates one form of energy from another is the speed at which it vibrates. For example, light vibrates at a very high frequency, and something like a rock vibrates at a lower frequency but a frequency nonetheless. Human beings also vibrate at different frequencies. Our thoughts and feelings can determine the frequency at which we vibrate, and our vibration goes out into the world and attracts to us energy moving at a similar frequency. This is one of the ways that we create our own reality, which is why we can cause a positive shift in our lives by raising our vibration.

We all know someone we think of as vibrant. Vibrant literally means “vibrating very rapidly.” The people who strike us as vibrant are vibrating at a high frequency, and they can inspire us as we work to raise our vibration. On the other hand, we all know people that are very negative or cynical. These people are vibrating at a lower frequency. They can also be an inspiration because they can show us where we don’t want to be vibrating and why. To discover where you are in terms of vibrancy, consider where you fall on a scale between the most pessimistic person you know and the most vibrant. This is not in order to pass judgment, but rather it is important to know where you are as you begin working to raise your frequency so that you can notice and appreciate your progress.

There are many ways to raise your vibration, from working with affirmations to visualizing enlightened entities during meditation. One of the most practical ways to raise your vibration is to consciously choose where you focus your attention. To understand how powerful this is, take five minutes to describe something you love unreservedly—a person, a movie, an experience. When your five minutes are up, you will noticeably feel more positive and even lighter. If you want to keep raising your vibration, you might want to commit to spending five minutes every day focusing on the good in your life. As you do this, you will train yourself to be more awake and alive. Over time, you will experience a permanent shift in your vibrancy.

From Daily OM

Monday, August 8, 2011

The Tao of Travel

‘A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving.’ ~Laozi
Post written by Leo Babauta.
I’m not the world’s most seasoned traveler, but I have made a number of trips lately and have learned a few things that work well.
This year I’ve traveled to Guam for a month, to Portland, New York City, Las Vegas, London, Paris, Southern California. They’ve all been beautiful trips, and I’ve never taken more than a small backpack.
Travel lightly, with no set agenda, and you’ll have an amazing, stress-free trip.
Traveling doesn’t have to be stressful. It can be simple, if you keep it so.

Essential

  1. Pack little. I take a small backpack, and don’t pack it too heavy either. I’ve found through experience that I just need a pair of jeans, 2-3 T-shirts, 2-3 quick-dry boxer briefs, 2-3 pairs of quick-dry socks, maybe a light sweater. I wash things in the shower if they get dirty and hang them to dry overnight. I bring my laptop so I can work for 30-45 minutes every morning. A paperback novel, maybe a small notebook. Minimal toiletries: deodorant, toothbrush, razor, Dr. Brommer’s liquid soap, dental floss. I never wait to check my back or get the bag after the flight, and I can pack in 5 minutes.
  2. Have no agenda. I often ask for recommendations from locals, and get a list of incredible things. I’ll also put everything on a Google Map, so I can see where everything is. Then I toss all that out and let the day lead me where it will. Having no set agenda means you aren’t pressured to get anything done each day, which means you can enjoy yourself fully.
  3. Walk a lot. The best way to explore any place is to walk. Walk all over, with no set directions. Get lost.
  4. Eat lightly. Eat anything you want, but don’t eat a lot. I like to mix fruits and veggies in with the heavier stuff, so I don’t feel so heavy.
  5. Find space to relax. Most people try to do too much, and rush around all day. Stroll casually, find good coffee shops or tea shops to relax in, or a good sidewalk cafe with good wine. Find parks and enjoy them. If it rains, walk in the rain. Read a lot.
  6. Be present. Don’t be on your smartphone or laptop all the time. Don’t always think about what you’ll be doing later, or work stuff. Be fully present, and you’ll have a great time.
  7. Smile at people. Talk to the locals. Ask for recommendations. Find out about their lives.

A Few More

  • Do bodyweight exercises. I do a mix of pushups, squats, lunges, burpees in my hotel room or apartment.
  • Don’t just stay for a day or two. If you really want to see a city, stay for a week or more. I could have gone to Europe and hit up 10 cities in three weeks, but instead I split that time among just two cities (London & Paris) and really saw those cities.
  • Get a short-term apartment if you can. If you can stay for a week, get an apartment if you can afford it. It’s cheaper than a hotel and much more comfortable.
  • Read a good novel.
  • Bring a metal water bottle. I learned this from my friend Scott: pack an empty water bottle, so you can get through TSA security checkpoints, and then fill up the bottle at the airport water fountain after the checkpoint. I carry the water bottle around everywhere I go so I’m never thirsty.
  • Keep a journal. Don’t stress over the journal. It doesn’t have to be daily. Just write out your thoughts, impressions when you have some spare time.
  • Travel locally. For years I never traveled, to save costs. I was content where I was, and that’s still true. Be a tourist in your hometown — see the sights, walk the area, explore and try to find new things you’ve never seen before. You don’t need to spend a lot to travel locally.
‘One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.’ ~Henry Miller

Give the best of you everywhere you go

The fastest way to receive is to give, because giving starts the reciprocal action of receiving. We all receive according to how much we give. Give the best of you everywhere you go. Give a smile. Give thanks. Give kindness. Give love.

Your giving should be a giving without expectation of return - a giving for the sheer joy of it.

May the joy be with you,

Rhonda Byrne

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

The magic of your subconscious mind


"There is a gold mine within you from which you can extract everything you need to live life gloriously, joyously, and abundantly.”

- Joseph Murphy

After 30 + years of knowing that thoughts become things, I feel as if I’ve just picked up a HUGE piece of the How-To-Get-What-You-Want puzzle.  I now realize that harnessing the extraordinary power of the subconscious mind is a significant part of deliberate creation.

Your subconscious mind is the gold mine referred to in the Joseph Murphy quote above.  And what a gold mine it is!  Your subconscious mind is directly linked to the quantum field of infinite possibilities.  It’s one with infinite intelligence and boundless wisdom.  It’s where intuition comes from.  It’s where inspiration for scientific discoveries, great inventions, artistic masterpieces, and music that moves your soul comes from.  This is the field of pure potential whereeverything is possible and YOU get to choose

If you think of the conscious brain as the captain of the ship, then the subconscious brain would be the entire ship’s crew.   Dreams, goals, plans and desires are hatched in the conscious part of the brain, but it’s the subconscious part of the brain that executes these plans.  Your subconscious mind works non-stop according to the programs it has been given.

With three simple steps, you can this very day begin reprogramming your subconscious mind so that it works to bring you what you DO WANT rather than what you DON’T WANT: 

(1) Meditate.  Meditation raises your vibration, releases resistance and trains your brain to focus.  It enables you to tap into the quantum soup of infinite consciousness.  Simply get still, quiet the wheels of your mind, and enter into a sleepy, drowsy state.  In this relaxed, receptive state, you’re ready to plant the seed of your desire in the fertile ground of your subconscious mind.

(2) Visualize.  When you visualize and imagine the fulfillment of your desire, you create a neural network within your brain that corresponds to your desire.  Visualize the experience you desire with great clarity and emotion, making the images vivid and real.

(3) Affirm.  The best affirmations are bold, clear, positive, and stated in the present tense.  As with visualization, when you repeat affirmations of your desires as if you’re living them now, you establish new neural pathways in your subconscious brain.  Continue to affirm your desires and feel the reality of living your dreams, completely disregarding any evidence to the contrary.  
“The great secret possessed by the great men of all ages was
their ability to contact and release the powers of their
subconscious mind.  You can do the same.”

- Joseph Murphy  
As you meditate, visualize and affirm, you systematically impress your desires onto the power center of your subconscious mind as a new set of instructions and the infinite power of the quantum field sets about to bring your vision into physical reality.

As you harness the Magic of Your Subconscious Mind, you’ll be able to access the gold mine within you and extract an abundance of love, joy, freedom, empowerment, and prosperity – anything and everything your heart desires.

Law of Attraction Coach KateKate Corbin