Be Free from Unhealthy Relationships

by Rhonda Findling

If you want to be free from unhealthy relationships, then the first step is not to call, text, e-mail or even Facebook a person that you:

· Have broken up with or has broken up with you
· Have determined is abusive
· Are highly attracted to but they are not returning your level of interest (for whatever reason)
· Have an unhealthy connection or relationship with
· Is presently in your life but you’re trying to not act needy with

When you contact someone you're not hearing from or trying to let go of, there can be a pleasurable rush of adrenaline from the anticipation of seeing them, hearing their voice or reading their message. But this rush is just a temporary fix, which you may have to pay a tremendous price for.

Even if the person does respond positively when you contact them, it may be momentarily thrilling or electrifying, but soon the anguish will return, because the problem is still there. Nothing has really changed. You're still not a couple or the person remains emotionally unavailable. You'll just have to start detaching all over again, doubling your efforts.

If you've ended the relationship because someone was doing something that you experienced as hurtful or refused to tolerate any longer, contacting them would take away your credibility for the boundary you set. By initiating a contact you would also be colluding with the behavior that you already told them was unacceptable.

Impulsivity

When you contact someone you're trying not to act needy with, it's often impulsive. Acting on impulse can make life exciting and dramatic but it can also put you at risk because you are not reflecting on whether it's a productive behavior. You're not thinking of the future and consequences. You're just acting in the moment.

So if you're thinking of making a contact, take time to reflect. Sit on your feelings. Endure your anxiety. Don't just do something because you feel like it. There could be disastrous effects if you do.

Call people in your support system to discuss any impulsive urges that come over you- whether to see, e-mail, call, or text them. Discuss and process your feelings with safe reliable people Remember that feelings do pass. Feelings are only temporary, which is why it's important to hang in there even when the urge to contact them feels unbearable.
You have to do whatever it takes to endure urges to make a contact and move past them. As you do this more and more, you will feel yourself gaining emotional strength.

Clinging

Clinging is any behavior that demonstrates holding on, not letting go. This can be exemplified by activities ranging from a compulsive phone call, text, or e-mail when they haven't responded to any of your previous contacts. Contacting someone who is not reciprocating your interest, or has rejected you is a form of clinging. The urge to cling can be irresistible. You know with your rational mind that your behavior isn't appropriate, but you are driven by a compulsion you feel you can't control. You may experience actual discomfort when you don't carry out the compulsive act.

It's essential to remember that clinging behavior causes most people to distance themselves even further. If someone has issues about intimacy your clinging will make them feel closed in and claustrophobic. They may feel that they have no room to breathe from your relentless trying to get them to prove that they're not going to leave you. Your clinging also makes you look emotionally hungry making them feel that they'll have to endlessly supply you with reassuring love which will scare them off.

It's human nature to have a hard time falling in love with someone who's bombarding them with phone calls, texts or e-mails. A clinging person doesn't leave someone a chance to long and yearn for them. They are so available another person doesn't have the space to fantasize about or miss them, which unfortunately is sometimes what falling in love, is all about.

Why clinging is not productive

There are people whose psychological problems prohibit them from having a relationship. These people are married to their pathology. Your chasing them will not break through their defenses, resistances and impairment.

Sometimes their lack of response or reciprocating is not even about you. It's truly about them. It doesn't make a difference because no matter who it's about; they just can't do it. They can't be there for you. You must face the truth of their unavailability so you can let them go and move on. Bottom line, you can't force another person's feelings, motivation for relationship, or emotional health no matter how many rules and programs you follow or implement.

In fact if you don't chase them around you'll get an opportunity to see what they do when they don't get any prompts or reminders from you.

Action steps: What you can do when you want to cling

· Go on dating sites online. It will also show you the abundance of people out there. You might also meet someone new who is even better than your ex or a person you're trying to let go of.
· Distract yourself - do whatever it takes to not think about your ex or a person you're trying to let go of even if it feels counterintuitive.
· Call someone in your support system.

Writing exercises

-Think of a time you were clinging to someone you were in love with. What were you feeling? What was behind the clinging? Was there another action you could have taken to not cling?

-What does it feel like to show someone that you have been clinging to that you are now independent? Does it feel empowering?

Action step/ Writing Exercise:

·The next time you feel insecure or lonely, try not to reach out to the emotionally unavailable person you are currently attached to. Instead, see how you get through it on your own. Write about your feelings that come up in your journal.

·Try to imagine life without the stress of an emotionally unavailable person's confusing behavior. Get to know how it feels to have emotional space free of them. Write about your feelings in your journal.

·Visualize yourself in a relationship with someone who's sure of their love for you. Someone who makes you feel secure. Someone who has never disappointed or betrayed you. Describe your relationship in your journal? What is that person like? How do you feel with them?

Spiritual Tip #5: Surrendering To What Is

If you're trying to hold onto someone even though you know it's a hopeless situation then you are resisting the inevitable. When it's time for someone to go you can't fight it. The relationship time with them has passed, even if it hurts. Surrender to what is.

The Power of Meditation and How It Affects Our Brains

Written by Belle Beth Cooper

Ever since my dad tried to convince me to meditate when I was about 12, I’ve been fairly skeptical of this practice. It always seemed to be so vague and hard to understand that I just decided it wasn’t for me.

More recently, I’ve actually found how simple (not easy, but simple) meditation can be and what huge benefit it can have for my day to day happiness. As an adult, I first started my meditation practice with just two minute per day. Two minutes! I got that idea from Leo Babauta’s Zen Habits blog, where he points out how starting with a tiny habit is the first step to consistently achieving it. So even thought two minutes won’t make much difference, that’s where I started.

Whether you’re as skeptical as I used to be, or you’re well ahead of me with a meditation habit of several hours, I think it’s always interesting to find out how new habits affect our brains. I had a look into meditation to see what’s going on inside our brains when we do this, and what I found is pretty interesting.

What is meditation?

There are different ways to meditate, and since it’s such a personal practice there are probably more than any of us know about. There are a couple that are usually focused on heavily in scientific research, though. These are focused-attention, or mindful meditation, which is where you focus on one specific thing—it could be your breathing, a sensation in your body or a particular object outside of you. The point of this type of meditation is to focus strongly on one point and continually bring your attention back to that focal point when it wanders.

The other type of meditation that’s often used in research is open-monitoring meditation. This is where you pay attention to all of the things happening around you—you simply notice everything without reacting.

What happens in your brain when you meditate

This is where things get really interesting. Using modern technology like fMRI scans, scientists have developed a more thorough understanding of what’s taking place in our brains when we meditate, kind of similar to how scientists have previously looked at measuring creativity in our brains.

The overall difference is that our brains stop processing information as actively as they normally would. We start to show a decrease in beta waves, which indicate that our brains are processing information, even after a single 20-minute meditation session if we’ve never tried it before.

In the image below you can see how the beta waves (shown in bright colors on the left) are dramatically reduced during meditation (on the right).

Below is the best explanation I found of what happens in each part of the brain during meditation:

Frontal lobe
This is the most highly evolved part of the brain, responsible for reasoning, planning, emotions and self-conscious awareness. During meditation, the frontal cortex tends to go offline.

Parietal lobe
This part of the brain processes sensory information about the surrounding world, orienting you in time and space. During meditation, activity in the parietal lobe slows down.

Thalamus
The gatekeeper for the senses, this organ focuses your attention by funneling some sensory data deeper into the brain and stopping other signals in their tracks. Meditation reduces the flow of incoming information to a trickle.

Reticular formation
As the brain’s sentry, this structure receives incoming stimuli and puts the brain on alert, ready to respond. Meditating dials back the arousal signal.

How meditation affects us

Now that we know what’s going on inside our brains, let’s take a look at the research into the ways it affects our health. It’s in fact very similar to how exercising affects our brains.

Better focus

Because meditation is a practice in focusing our attention and being aware of when it drifts, this actually improves our focus when we’re not meditating, as well. It’s a lasting effect that comes from regular bouts of meditation.

Focused attention is very much like a muscle, one that needs to be strengthened through exercise.

Less anxiety

This point is pretty technical, but it’s really interesting. The more we meditate, the less anxiety we have, and it turns out this is because we’re actually loosening the connections of particular neural pathways. This sounds bad, but it’s not.

What happens without meditation is that there’s a section of our brains that’s sometimes called the Me Center (it’s technically the medial prefrontal cortex). This is the part that processes information relating to ourselves and our experiences. Normally the neural pathways from the bodily sensation and fear centers of the brain to the Me Center are really strong. When you experience a scary or upsetting sensation, it triggers a strong reaction in your Me Center, making you feel scared and under attack.

When we meditate, we weaken this neural connection. This means that we don’t react as strongly to sensations that might have once lit up our Me Centers. As we weaken this connection, we simultaneously strengthen the connection between what’s known as our Assessment Center (the part of our brains known for reasoning) and our bodily sensation and fear centers. So when we experience scary or upsetting sensations, we can more easily look at them rationally. Here’s a good example:

For example, when you experience pain, rather than becoming anxious and assuming it means something is wrong with you, you can watch the pain rise and fall without becoming ensnared in a story about what it might mean.

More creativity

As a writer, this is one thing I’m always interested in and we’ve explored the science of creativity in depth before. Unfortunately, it’s not the most easy thing to study, but there is some research into how meditation can affect our creativity. Researchers at Leiden University in the Netherlands studied both focused-attention and open-monitoring mediation to see if there was any improvement in creativity afterwards. They found that people who practiced focused-attention meditation did not show any obvious signs of improvement in the creativity task following their meditation. For those who did open-monitoring meditation, however, they performed better on a task that asked them to come up with new ideas.

More compassion

Research on meditation has shown that empathy and compassion are higher in those who practice meditation regularly. One experiment showed participants images of other people that were either good, bad or neutral in what they called “compassion meditation.” The participants were able to focus their attention and reduce their emotional reactions to these images, even when they weren’t in a meditative state. They also experienced more compassion for others when shown disturbing images.

Part of this comes from activity in the amygdala—the part of the brain that processes emotional stimuli. During meditation, this part of the brain normally shows decreased activity, but in this experiment it was exceptionally responsive when participants were shown images of people.

Another study in 2008 found that people who meditated regularly had stronger activation levels in their temporal parietal junctures (a part of the brain tied to empathy) when they heard the sounds of people suffering, than those who didn’t meditate.

Better memory

One of the things meditation has been linked to is improving rapid memory recall. Catherine Kerr, a researcher at the Martinos Center for Biomedical Imaging and the Osher Research Center found that people who practiced mindful meditation were able to adjust the brain wave that screens out distractions and increase their productivity more quickly that those that did not meditate. She said that this ability to ignore distractions could explain “their superior ability to rapidly remember and incorporate new facts.” This seems to be very similar to the power of being exposed to new situations that will also dramatically improve our memory of things.

Less stress

Mindful meditation has been shown to help people perform under pressure while feeling less stressed. A 2012 study split a group of human resources managers into three, which one third participating in mindful meditation training, another third taking body relaxation training and the last third given no training at all. A stressful multitasking test was given to all the managers before and after the eight-week experiment. In the final test, the group that had participated in the meditation training reported less stress during the test than both of the other groups.

More gray matter

Meditation has been linked to larger amounts of gray matter in the hippocampus and frontal areas of the brain. I didn’t know what this meant at first, but it turns out it’s pretty great. More gray matter can lead to more positive emotions, longer-lasting emotional stability and heightened focus during daily life.

Meditation has also been shown to diminish age-related effects on gray matter and reduce the decline of our cognitive functioning.

Getting started with Meditation

Here’s a great infographic that gives an overview of the different kinds of meditation and some tips for fitting in meditation at work.

Source: http://blog.bufferapp.com/how-meditation-affects-your-brain

Going Away to Go Within

by Madisyn Taylor

Going on retreat is a time to cocoon so that we may emerge ready to return to our lives with a new perspective.

Occasionally, we need to pause - and step away from the hustle and bustle of modern life. One way to do this is to get away from our daily life and go on retreat. Far more than a vacation, a retreat offers us time to ourselves to rest, heal, reflect, and renew our spirit. It is a time to cocoon so that we may emerge renewed, refreshed, and ready to return to our everyday lives with a new perspective. A retreat gives us time for uninterrupted meditation so that we may go deep within and spend time with ourselves.

A retreat may offer quiet, solitude, and sometimes even silence. Retreats often take place in humble dwellings with simple fare so that our senses may be reawakened to the beauty of unadorned tastes and the sights and sounds of nature. When we spend days in contemplation, we can more easily hear our heart when it speaks to us. We also are able to really listen when a bird sings, deeply breathe in the smell of flowers, grass, or earth, and delight in a soft breeze blowing on our cheek. When we go on retreat we have time to connect to the sacred geometry of a labyrinth, discover epiphanies through asanas, or take a long, reflective walk through the woods where we can give each step our full attention.

Without the pull of deadlines, relationships, the Internet, or other media, we give ourselves time to go deep into our own solitude where we can fully reflect on our joys, sorrows, and fears, owning and releasing them as needed. We may even come to know and understand our life path more deeply. Hopefully, when we return home, we can take a little bit of this time alone back with us and create the space for deep reflection on a daily basis. We also may come back to our life renewed and ready to take on the world. The beauty of going on retreat is that no matter where you go or how long you stay, you’ll always meet yourself when you get there.

Power of Meditation

Shield

by Madisyn Taylor

In order to protect ourselves from taking on any negative energy from other people or situations; we can learn to shield.

There are times when you may find that being around certain individuals or groups of people leaves you with feelings of discomfort. It may be that spending time with a particular friend feels draining or that dealing with a specific coworker exhausts you. Being around toxic or angry people is also draining. And you may even find that being surrounded by a crowd of people lowers your energy levels rather than perks you up. This is not that unusual. Each of us radiates energy and is capable of being influenced by the energy of other people. It is important to learn how to shield yourself, so you don’t unknowingly take on someone else’s energy. While some people know how to instinctively protect themselves from being adversely affected by energy, most of us need to discover and practice the technique that works best.

There are a number of ways to avoid being affected by people’s energy. Shielding is one preventative technique you can use. Center yourself and envision being enveloped in a cocoon of loving and protective light. This protective layer should allow you to consciously regulate the energy around you. The intent to shield oneself is all you need for this technique to work. You can even create a trigger word to assist you in quickly creating a shield. Say this word each time you create a new shield, until the word and the shield become automatically associated in your mind. If you run into a person whose energy you find draining, you may want to cleanse your own energy field after your encounter. Sage, cold showers, singing, mineral water baths, spending time in nature, and a simple break to recharge are all ways to accomplish this.

While it is important to know how to shield yourself from energy, there are those energies that you may not want to shut out. The energy of laughter from a newborn baby, the feeling of joy radiating from someone in love, and the frequency of calm emanating from an enlightened teacher are just some of the energies coming from others that you may want to have around you.

Source: Daily OM

The Flexible Mind

By Leo Babauta

When I reflect back on how much happier I am these days compared to my life about 8 years ago, I realize it’s not all a result of better habits (though that’s a part of it).

Here’s what I’ve changed that makes me happier:

• Instead of stressing out about meeting goals, deadlines, timelines, I have learned a way of flowing.
• Instead of getting mad at people not meeting my expectations, I’m looser with what I expect of others.
• Instead of getting mad at things not turning out how I’d like, I accept that things are unpredictable, and accept what happens.

Most of the time, that is.

In other words, I’ve developed a flexible mind.

This is one of the best changes I’ve made, because it gives me more peace of mind and happiness. It took some time to develop this mental habit, and I’ll share with you here why and how I did it.

Why Develop Flexible Mind

The root cause of frustration, irritation, anger, sadness is an inflexible mind — one that wants to hold onto the way we wish things were, the ideas we’re comfortable with. When things don’t go this way, we are then frustrated, angry, sad.

So developing a flexible mind is a way to be open to anything, happy with change, prepared for any situation. Think about it: if there’s a major disruption in your life, it’s only a bad thing because you’re holding onto the way you wish things could be, what you’re comfortable with. If you let go of that wish, the change isn’t bad. It’s just different, and in fact it could be good if you embrace it and see the opportunity.

It’s about developing the ability to cope with change, to be flexible, to simplify.

How: Small Practices

You don’t develop flexible mind overnight — your mind isn’t as easy to change as your outfit. You have to develop mental habits with small changes, consistently over time.

Here’s how:

1. Make a commitment, for one week, to try to let go of what you’re holding onto when you get irritated, frustrated, sad, etc.
2. Make a list of the things that trigger these emotions — being interrupted, someone cutting you off in traffic, someone being loud when you’re trying to work, people not washing their dishes, etc.
3. Create reminders for when those triggers happen — paper notes, a bead bracelet, something written on your hand, a sign on your car’s dashboard, etc.
4. When the trigger happens, pause. Notice the emotion rising. Feel it, but don’t act. Breathe.
5. Try to see what you’re holding onto — wishing the driver would be more polite, wishing you could do what you were doing without interruptions, wishing other people would be perfect in cleaning up after themselves. These wishes are fantasies — let them go. Be open to the way things are, to changes that have happened. Breathe, open your heart, accept.
6. Now respond appropriately, without wishing things were different, with compassion.

Repeat however many times you like during the week, or a minimum of once a day.

Please note that you will not be perfect at this when you start. It’s a difficult skill to learn, because we have emotional patterns that have built up over the years. It’s good enough to become more aware of it, and to attempt this method once a day. Be flexible in your desire to get this exactly right. Practice it when you remember for the rest of the year.

Source: http://zenhabits.net/flex/

7 Simple Things to Do Every Day

By Alex Blackwell

Every day I attempt to go about my life with the best intentions. My goal is not to judge the bad days too harshly or the good days with too much jubilation, but to live somewhere in the middle.

My middle is not filled with mediocrity or an area absent of passion; it’s simply a place of peace, knowing and balance. And part of living in the middle is doing seven simple things every day and then looking for the value in what happens next.

1. Wake up early
   Early in the morning I am free to start my day on my terms. By waking early, I can set the pace and create a mood that lasts the day. The quiet of my house has a soothing hum that vibrates against my heart. When things get busy later, the memory of this vibration will serve as a reminder to stop and wait for the silence where the truth can be heard once again.

   Give yourself to the early morning. Begin by waking just 15 minutes sooner. Enjoy the taste of your coffee or tea a little longer. Use this time to journal, meditate or pray. Or, if you choose, sit and feel the simple joy of being alive for one more day.
   

2. Give back.
   I am a lucky man. My family and I have everything we need and most of what we want. It is with a thankful heart that I accept the gifts provided. Every day my intent is to give back so I can express my gratitude.

   Giving back can be more than just giving money. It can be defined by providing a compliment, making someone’s day a little easier, or taking the time to do what someone can’t do. Giving back is offering a part of you freely and without expecting anything in return.

   A simple act of giving can cascade from one person to another until a landslide of gratitude builds up so much momentum that its force can’t be held back any longer. Contribute to this momentum every day to experience its life-changing power.
   

3. Daydream.
   Most of what I have today was once a dream. When I was in college, thoughts of having a family and a place to call home were the usual themes. What motivated me was the promise that one day my dreams would come true. And most have.

   You can daydream whenever you wish. You don’t have to close your eyes; you just need to reach down and fetch a dream that may need a little light and some air breathed back into it.
   

4. Connect with someone.
   Life is meant to be shared and the need to connect is an important one for me. While time for self-reflection is necessary, so is the time we share with other people. True connection is seeking understanding and to ask one more question beyond, “How are you doing?” True connection is waiting for the answer.

   I attempt to take one moment every day to stay in a conversation a little longer; call someone who has been on my mind or reply to an unanswered email. Connection provides me with the opportunity to nurture and to be nurtured.

   There is security in knowing the challenges we face, we don’t have to face alone. Connect. Share. And then be fulfilled, inspired and understood, too.
   

5. Challenge yourself.
   Living in the familiar, inside your comfort zone, may feel safe but it doesn’t provide the opportunity to stretch and grow. Challenge yourself to do one daring thing every day.

   My challenges typically center on acknowledging my needs. It is my nature to do for others first. So, my simple challenge every day is remember that I am important, too.

   What you do can be simple as well. Ask for one thing you want, start a project or run an extra minute. The point is to do one thing that will take you a little bit closer to where you want to go. With each daily challenge you will see something wonderful happen – you find yourself becoming the person you want to be.
   

6. Share your love
   Of the all the things I say or do, the way I love matters most. Love extends a piece of my kindness to someone, or something else. I share my love by helping someone feel special; volunteering my time and talent; sharing my heart through my writing and by providing unconditional love for my family.

   Give a hug, make time, listen, care, support and protect. All good, simple things to do; and especially good to do when they are powered by love.
   

7. Rest and refresh.
   My body signals me when it has had enough. When I fail to listen is when I crash and burn. I’m learning to back off the gas a little more and to take the time to unwind, decompress, and refresh my mind and body.

   Life does comes at us hard and fast. Fatigue, stress and exhaustion begins to settle in faster than you may think, or notice. The best remedy for this is rest.

   Disconnect from all of the busyness and reconnect with what brings you the most nourishment. Spend time with your partner, watch a guilty-pleasure television show, read a book, or simply be and enjoy the serenity of doing nothing for a while.

Source: http://www.thebridgemaker.com/7-simple-things-to-do-every-day/

Happy Guide

Happy Guide eBook (free)

I've put together a complete system for health and happiness that anyone can use. It can be read in under an hour and is just what you need to know, no waffle...

Click here to read Happy Guide

To download, right-click the link above and choose
Save Target As or Save Link As(read feedback)

Best wishes,
Michael Kinnaird

Source:http://happyguide.co/

6 simple lifestyle changes for health and happiness

There are six key lifestyle elements — six health boxes for you to check every day by developing good habits… With our busy lives this is a big enough job on its own without getting distracted.

1. Diet
2. Exercise
3. Drugs (get rid of)
4. Sleep
5. Organization
6. Live in the moment

Consistently checking those health boxes every day are the real and true causes of health and happiness. Bang, bang, bang…

Focus there.

And by making these things a habit, you’ll also make them painless, effortless and very soon you’ll be getting the amazing rewards of caring for your body, mind and soul in the best way every day — joy for life.

Best wishes,
Michael Kinnaird

5 Ways To Bring Mindfulness Into Everyday Life

by Headspace.com

What does it mean to be mindful?  Essentially, mindfulness means to be present, and in the moment.  It is important that we remind ourselves of this simple fact.  All too often we can lose the true essence of mindfulness by over-complicating things or putting all our emphasis on the act of meditation alone.  Mindfulness is not something we leave at the chair, but something we can carry through our everyday lives.  If we can apply mindfulness on the chair, then why not while brushing our teeth, catching up with an old friend, or even waiting for our morning train?  All these moments present an opportunity for us to apply mindfulness, and live our lives more fully, in the present moment.

According to recent research, we spend up to 50 percent of our time caught up in our thoughts; a proven contributing factor to our unhappiness. Instead of drifting through our lives in a daze, consumed by thoughts of what could have been or planning those things which our out of our control in the first place, mindfulness allows us to engage with the here and now and approach our lives with greater clarity and peace of mind.

It is often in the more repetitive, day-to-day activities that we find ourselves switching into auto-pilot.  So why not embrace these moments and see them as an opportunity to be more mindful?  In this piecem the mindfulness experts at Headspace provide their tips on how best to incorporate mindfulness into our daily lives.  Remember not to worry about trying to clear the mind of any thoughts or feelings.  Instead, try and see yourself taking a back seat; witnessing the thoughts and emotions as they come and go.  If you find yourself getting distracted simply bring your attention back to the physical senses and focus your attention back on the activity itself.

1.     Being Mindful in the Shower

Unmindful:  Vague awareness of the sensation of water as you step into the shower. A daily battle with the temperature control trying to work out why the temperature never quite hits the spot. Within seconds your mind wanders back to that episode of American Idol last night.  Was Simon Cowell wearing a wig?  Is his hair naturally that glossy? I wonder where he gets those high-waisted trousers from…?

Mindful: You become aware of how good the warm water feels as it washes over your skin.  Being mindful of the smell of the shower gel, and the sensation your hands passing over your skin; being mindful to set the temperature before you step in the shower; mindful of thoughts cropping up; mindful of how much water you’re using; and mindful of the noise of the water coming to a halt.

2.    Being Mindful whilst Brushing your Teeth

Unmindful:  Brushing your teeth furiously, whilst noticing your reflection and bemoaning the appearance of that spot that seems to have cropped up from nowhere. Running around the house with the toothbrush hanging out of your mouth, trying to prepare breakfast, pack today’s lunch whilst hunting out those ever elusive car keys.

Mindful: Becoming mindful of the taste and texture of the toothpaste; mindful of the sensation of your feet on the bathroom floor; mindful of the way that your arm moves to direct the brush across your teeth; mindful of each and every tooth.

3.    Being Mindful on your Commute

Unmindful: You’re squashed into the train or bus in a way that you didn’t think was humanly possible. The resentment builds as you move through the journey and people launch themselves into the space as though the world is coming to an end and this is the only route to safety.  You find yourself holding your breath because you can’t bear the lethal cocktail of body odour and cheap perfume, wishing that you could magically transport yourself to that swim-up bar in the Caribbean you’re gazing at in the newspaper..“Tropicana drinks are free…”

Mindful: Being mindful of the people around you and recognising that they too might be feeling the same discomfort; mindful of the environment as a whole and your resistance to it; mindful of trying to fast forward to dreamt up situations, of escaping the present moment; mindful of the journey and how it feels – is the ride bumpy or is it comfortable and smooth?

4.     Being Mindful while Washing Up

Unmindful: You approach the sink with a heavy heart and set about frantically washing the dishes, trying to get the whole thing over with in as little time as possible. You select the pieces of cutlery you know will cause the least amount of bother (the sieve and that greasy pan come last, obviously!) You find yourself day-dreaming out of the window half aware of that sharp knife lurking at the bottom of the sink.  You catch sight of your cat purring smugly from the comfort of the sofa. Wouldn’t it be great to be the cat…

Mindful: Becoming aware of the sensations as soon as your hands hit the warm and soapy water; mindful of how you clean the dishes, taking your time to make sure each one of them is thoroughly cleaned; mindful of what’s going on around you without getting wrapped up in the storylines; mindful of the satisfaction of a job well done.

5.    Being Mindful in the Queue

Unmindful: You stand twitching, full of impatience in the queue.  You look at your phone and scan aimlessly through old emails and texts, searching for something, anything that might distract you from the boredom of waiting.  You sigh loudly when you notice someone fumbling with their purse at the cashier desk.  Can’t these people be more prepared?  You feel around your bag getting everything out and ready, and realise that you’ve left your credit card on your desk after paying for that concert ticket…

Mindful: You set off mindful and quietly prepared for what you’ll need; mindful of how your mood changes when you first catch a glimpse of the queue for the bank; mindful of how you stand, your breath and where any tensions are as you scan through your body; mindful of the tendency to distract yourself from the present moment; and mindful of how you interact with the people around you.

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Headspace is a project designed to demystify meditation. It attempts to make meditation easy-to-learn, fun-to-do, and relevant to your everyday life.

Source: http://www.dailygood.org/story/497/5-ways-to-bring-mindfulness-into-everyday-life-headspace-com/