Friday, October 30, 2009

Learning To Love – A Lifelong Journey

learnlove Learning To Love   A Lifelong Journey

Learning to love however, is the most important growth experience this life offers.

Romantic love can lead to learning to love – but it’s a path we each have to choose.

Romantic love starts as a perfect storm of timing, chemistry, family history, experience, mythology and mystery. It floods the brain with cravings and pleasure as strong as any drug and dramatically impacts motivation, elation and focused attention. This chemically altered state of consciousness can last somewhere between a few months and as long as four years. It’s the pursuit of this temporary state of romantic love that shows up in some people who move from one relationship to another.

Romantic love is an illusion that refuses to see us as we really are and as such, it depends on agreement and tolerates differences poorly, if at all. It’s like a blob that absorbs all who enter and then spits out the empty shell.

The transition from romantic to sustaining love begins when you take the risk of wanting more than needing your partner.

Sustaining love is love that is devoted to learning to love – your partner, your kids, your parents, your siblings – all of the most important people in your life. Sustaining love is the net we need to catch us when the altered state of romantic love beings to fade.

Learning to love should be the commitment we make when we marry.

I choose you to be the endless mystery in my life. In your eyes, I will discover me – the one I am, the one I long to be, and the one I don’t want to be. In your heart, I will be more content and lonelier than anywhere else on earth. In your mind, your thoughts will shape my thoughts. The more I study to learn who you are, the more I will learn who I am. In your presence, I will know me.

Sustaining Love

  • Is not self-centered or other focused
  • Comes from genuine acceptance and respect for you – the way you are – and for your partner – the way he is.
  • Is humble – it’s pride that keeps you from expressing your most tender, vulnerable emotions; it’s pride that says, “I will if you will.”
  • Does not weigh what it gives in terms of what it gets
  • Looks for agreement when possible, but allows, expects, and encourages disagreement
  • Is not defensive, reactive, or argumentative
  • Can differ on principle
  • Involves giving to others AND receiving from others
  • Knows that love is unlimited, but the time to give that love is limited
  • Listens without interrupting, does not read minds, is not judgmental
  • Believes in you and believes in your partner
  • Holds onto the commitment, knowing that ups and downs come and go
  • Wants more than needs your partner
  • Comes from suffering, life experience, hard work and determination
  • In sustaining love, good humor laughs at one’s own mistakes
  • Places tenderness – being delicate, vulnerable, sensitive, gentle, and considerate – before sex
  • Sustaining love is reliable, friendly, and not heavy

Sustaining love motivates us to work toward creating a climate of love -one that is calm, reasonable ,and respectful. Respecting our separateness is the foundation of human connectedness. Without respect, closeness is impossible.

Respect is defined as not trying directly or indirectly to change anyone. We know we are being respectful when we refuse to tell others what to do.

Learning to love leads to a growing acceptance of my limitations, my inability to change others, and with that comes satisfaction in simply doing my part, the best I can. I learn to accept that love is a risky business that deeply invests my tenderness and emotional vulnerabilities in my partner. The end of sustaining love is always painful – because one will die and leave the other.

When we live fully alive in our marriage, we don’t look away from that reality – we make the best of love and we let love make the best of us.

By Mary Ann Crossno

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Improve Your Marriage and Life by Eating Slower

Post image for Improve Your Marriage and Life by Eating Slower

One of the problems in our daily lives is that many of us rush through the day, with no time for anything … and when we have time to get a bite to eat, we gobble it down.

That leads to stressful, unhealthy living.

And with the simple but powerful act of eating slower, we can begin to reverse that lifestyle immediately. How hard is it? You take smaller bites, you chew each bite slower and longer, and you enjoy your meal longer.

It takes a few minutes extra each meal, and yet it can have profound effects.

As we head into the Holiday season, where food is often prevalent, if you slow down when you eat, you could find the Holidays more enjoyable.

You may have already heard of the Slow Food Movement, started in Italy almost two decades ago to counter the fast food movement. Everything that fast food is, Slow Food isn’t.

If you read the Slow Food Manifesto, you’ll see that it’s not just about health — it’s about a lifestyle. And whether you want to adopt that lifestyle or not, there are some reasons you should consider the simple act of eating slower:

  1. Lose weight. A growing number of studies confirm that just by eating slower, you’ll consume fewer calories — in fact, enough to lose 20 pounds a year without doing anything different or eating anything different. The reason is that it takes about 20 minutes for our brains to register that we’re full. If we eat fast, we can continue eating past the point where we’re full. If we eat slowly, we have time to realize we’re full, and stop on time. Now, I would still recommend that you eat healthier foods, but if you’re looking to lose weight, eating slowly should be a part of your new lifestyle.

  2. Enjoy your food. This reason is just as powerful, in my opinion. It’s hard to enjoy your food if it goes by too quickly. In fact, I think it’s fine to eat sinful foods, if you eat a small amount slowly. Think about it: you want to eat sinful foods (desserts, fried foods, pizza, etc.) because they taste good. But if you eat them fast, what’s the point? If you eat them slowly, you can get the same amount of great taste, but with less going into your stomach. That’s math that works for me. And that argument aside, I think you are just happier by tasting great food and enjoying it fully, by eating slowly. Make your meals a gastronomic pleasure, not a thing you do rushed, between stressful events.

  3. Better digestion. If you eat slower, you’ll chew your food better, which leads to better digestion. Digestion actually starts in the mouth, so the more work you do up there, the less you’ll have to do in your stomach. This can help lead to fewer digestive problems.

  4. Less stress. Eating slowly, and paying attention to your eating, can be a great way to be in the moment, rather than rushing through a meal thinking about what you need to do next. When you eat – just eat. Give it a try.

  5. Rebel against fast food and fast life. Our hectic, fast-paced, stressful, chaotic lives — the Fast Life — leads to eating Fast Food, and eating it quickly. This is a lifestyle that is dehumanizing us, making us unhealthy, stressed out, and unhappy. We rush through our day, doing one mindless task after another, without taking the time to live life, to enjoy life, to relate to each other, to be human. That’s not a good thing in my book. Instead, rebel against that entire lifestyle and philosophy … with the small act of eating slower. Don’t eat Fast Food. Eat at a good restaurant, or better yet, cook your own food and enjoy it fully. Taste life itself.

  6. Improve your relationships. It’s amazing how a simple thing like eating slower can improve your relationships. When you eat with your spouse, or family, or friends – slow down, enjoy your food and the company. Talk. Laugh. Tell stories. In other words, share your life with others. A good meal with people you love can work wonders for your life … and theirs.
by Corey

Monday, October 26, 2009

13 Things You Can Do Right Now To Get What You Want

1) Want. You must want what you want more than not wanting what you don't want. Give yourself permission to want and desire. Let yourself HAVE what you want and desire.

2) Decide. If you don't decide, nothing else can happen. You must feel the resolve of your decision 100%.

3) See. Use your imagination to see your vision. What is happening? Who is there? What is going on? Play the scenario's in your head.

4) Feel. Harness this most missed step in manifesting. Let the feelings of what you want and desire surface. Feel them now. (This is one of the focus's of the *Feeling Good* Immersion Experience)

5) Think. Your thoughts create vibrations that the Universe matches, which creates what you know as your reality. Make sure you are consciously choosing thought that align you with what you want and desire.

6) Clear. Limited thoughts, mistaken beliefs, old baggage...must be cleared!

7) Act. Take action. But don't just move. Take inspired, clear action that you know is part of the momentum of your creation.

8) Know. Feel confident and convicted. Be certain that what you want and desire will be yours.

9) Trust. Infuse your consciousness and being with trust. Do you trust life? Do you trust yourself? Find a way to elevate your trust to a higher plane.

10) Allow. Learn how to open, receive and allow. Get out of the way.

11) Connect. Connect with whatever you know as a higher power, source or purpose. When you align with the greater rhythm of life, you are letting Universal laws work WITH you.

12) Raise. Engage in activity that raises your vibrations. High vibrations are a must for being a magnet for what you want and desire.

13) Thank. Give thanks! Gratitude is one of the most potent tools for using the Law of Attraction on purpose. Give thanks for what is. Feel gratitude for what will be.


In joy, prosperity and gratitude,

Kendra :)

Kendra E Thornbury, MA
Lessons in Law of Attraction


Kendra is an internationally acclaimed coach,
spiritual guide, writer, speaker, facilitator,
humanitarian and entrepreneur. She helps
people awaken to the bounty of life and
live in joy and prosperity. Her purpose is to
inspire and guide people to be fully alive.

P.O. Box 20672
Seattle, WA 98102

Sunday, October 11, 2009


This is a very valuable lesson. Understand that when we are on purpose, we will be in a peaceful, happy and joyous state while being persistent in manifesting our dreams. When we are on purpose our energy is in alignment with what we are intending to manifest. With that alignment the only possible outcome is the manifestation of our intentions. It is The Law…The Law of Attraction.

If we become impatient thinking we know the time frame in which things should happen, that creates resistance which can block the outcome. The key is being aware and respectful of the time buffer. The time buffer is the space between idea, action and reality.

An architect creates the image of a project like a commercial building. That image is transferred to drawings which then are developed into engineering specifications. Ultimately the building is constructed over time. It all began with an idea.

Once we are on purpose, there is an absolute knowing as to the outcome. Persistence then is the continual action on the plans that are delivered to us on how to arrive at the intended destination. The plans can come in many ways. It is our job to pay attention and attract the solutions to the process we undertake that is in alignment with our purpose.

Neale Donald Walsh writes about process and persistence :

“This is about more than just patience. This is about more than just persistence. This is about absolute knowing that God is on your side. When you know this, you never give up…and this the sense of struggle goes away. You simply keep moving forward, knowing that in the end all will work out. And that along the way there will be great insights and wonderful remembering.”

by Steve Pohlit