by David Patrick
A few weeks ago my concept of the difficulty of marriage was challenged. We are so used to saying that marriage is hard. And there is no doubt that it can be challenging, but the institution apparently is not hard, it’s the parties involved. Our marriage mentor was once again, the “burster of bubbles” for me again on this subject.
He said, “We keep saying that marriage is hard. Marriage is not hard, it’s easy. All you have to do is Humble Yourself, Serve One Another, Shut Up, and Pray”
I listened to that advise and turned it over and over in my mind. Humble myself, serve my spouse, shut up and pray. Humble myself, serve my spouse, shut up and pray. That’s it. It made sense. I’ve always believed that there is great simplicity in wisdom. Over the next few weeks (and up to today) I rolled that over in my mind and made sure that whatever came up in my home daily that I remembered these four things.
* Humble Yourself: To humble yourself means to take a lower position or rank. Or to think more highly or others than you do yourself. When dealing with your spouse… humble yourself. Make your spouse’s needs, desires, problems and concerns more important than your own. You are sowing good to your spouse, you are bound to reap it.
* Serve Your Spouse: Once you’ve got humbling yourself on your mind it will be easier to serve your spouse. Do what they’ve asked of you and take initiative to do what they haven’t yet asked. And let me let you in on a secret about service. You haven’t really served your spouse until you’ve been inconvenienced. When they asked you to do something that will also benefit you or something that is “along the way” to something you were going to do already that’s not really serving. It’s when you’ve been asked to do something that will put you “out of your way.” Remember the Bible scripture, “when asked to go one mile, go two”? That’s service.
* Shut Up!: This is probably the biggest issue. Most of us don’t know when to shut up. We can’t seem to let things slide. Simple advice: Just shut up. Nobody wants to hear your two cents. Keep your two cents, and save it up until you have enough to say something worthwhile.
* Pray: I’m not sure how any relationship thrives without prayer. Pray over your marriage, pray over your spouse, pray that God shows you how to be a better spouse, pray for mitigated distractions in your marriage, pray on how to navigate the obstacles, and pray for the strength to do these four steps and the reminder to continue.When you and your spouse can’t agree and you think you’re right, pray that God causes whoever is wrong to see their error. Prayer is an investment in your marriage. What you pray for and about you are less likely to tear down with your words and actions.
Nope, marriage is not hard, it’s easy. These steps aren’t really hard either, it’s our inner selfishness. 4 tools to your marriage success: Humble yourself, serve, shut up and pray.