Saturday, January 15, 2011

Values in Family

values in family

Sometimes it is not easy to raise our children with good values while the society itself always seems lack of it. And, though we all have values that we want to pass on to our children, we worry that wont success, as we remember ourselves as teenagers, used to reject and disobey most values our parents have taught us, and always tried to figure out everything by our self.

However, besides all rebellion and rejection behaviors from kids (especially in teens – age) toward values, there is a fact that consciously or not, parents can and do strongly influence the way their children treat themselves and others, and the attitudes their children take toward family, charity, honesty, work, environment, and dozens of other moral issues.

By their own instinct as parents, most of them are doing a pretty good job of passing on their values, much as their parents did, and their parents before them; good and solid values seem to run in families. Still, the following recommendation can help parents to pass their torch of values to their children;

Own your values. Your values as parent might have changed quite a bit than what your parents have taught you. Firstly, you must decide your own values that you want to pass on to your kid. List the values in their order of importance, and ask your spouse or partner to do the same.

These could be many things, such as family, health, education, money, possession, environment, tolerance, good taste, religion, integrity, political view, etc. Compare both lists and discuses or compromise the differences. Once you received and accord, you’ll be better able to join forces in passing the chosen values onto your toddler.

Live your values. As much as parents want their children to live by certain values, parents sometimes find it difficult to live by them selves. They want their children to be honest, but they lie about their child’s age to get on the movie or museum admissions. They determine that their children learn not to abuse their bodies, but they fail to show respect for their own bodies, such as by smoking cigarettes, living on junk food, failing to exercise.

To impart values to your children effectively, you must first commit yourself to living the values. Be an exemplary role model, and your child will likely become an exemplary individual. Never cheat or treat your child unfair by saying “I’m an adult so I’m allowed to smoke and eat junkies, you are still in developing process so you can’t smoke nor eat junkies”.

Communicate your values. Being an exemplary role model is not enough. Help your children understand why you love them. Explain why you believe it’s better to be honest than to lie; why taking care of your body is important, etc

Put teaching values in perspective. By building a framework of values for your toddler to follow, you’re heading him in the right direction. But realize that this is the best any parent can do. As children grow older, they add their own experiences and the lessons they’ve learned out in the world to what you’ve taught them at home, to come up with their own unique set of values. Just as you did.