The problem with focusing on the outcome is that things don’t always turn out that way. And when they don’t, you’ll often end up either 1) trying to force something when it shouldn’t be forced; or 2) being hugely disappointed or frustrated.
Here’s a method that embraces simplicity:
Don’t try to force outcomes — let them happen. Be open to what emerges.
This is a change that I’ve been trying in my life over the last year or more — slowly, gradually, because it’s not always easy. You have to learn to let go of the need to achieve certain outcomes, to embrace the flow, and that can be very difficult. So I’ve learned to embrace it slowly, and it has been wonderful.
The lesson I learned: you don’t know what will happen, or what opportunities will arise, until you arrive at that moment. You can plan and plan and plan, but there is just no way to know how things will turn out. And if my plan doesn’t include an opportunity that I didn’t see coming, I might miss that opportunity. Sure, I could continually adjust my plans based on changing circumstances … but then, what’s the point of the plan?
Instead, I have forgone the need to define outcomes, and have focused on enjoying the journey. That doesn’t mean I’m not motivated to do my best — I am — nor does it mean that I take a lackadaisical attitude toward my work (although I do get lazy, like anyone else). It means that I’m motivated by the work, that I enjoy the activity, not by the destination, goal or outcome.
Instead, see what emerges. And be open to it.
That’s not easy. But it can be improved with practice, and as we see that things tend to turn out OK anyway, we get more confident in this method.
The result is a way of living that doesn’t worry so much on striving for something, on pre-defined outcomes, and doesn’t try to force an outcome into becoming reality. It’s a way of living that is without high levels of stress, that doesn’t get disappointed or frustrated by goals not being met, that moves at a good pace without forcing things or despairing at mistakes or plans gone wrong.
It’s a life of simplicity redefined, and I’m loving it.
“Taoist thought stresses the need to find the state contentment, not soaring happiness nor the depths of despair. Finally, Taoism teaches to live a disciplined life and not worry so much about outcomes.” - The Rambling Taoist
