Thursday, March 19, 2009

Are You Bold Enough To Forgive Yourself & Others?

In life, pain is inevitable, the suffering is optional...
Creative Commons License photo credit: tapperboy

Monday’s Magic winner is Patricia. Please contant me and I will contect you with the sponser.

Is there someone of something that has been weighing you down? Are you in conflict with someone you love? Are you angry with a boss who let you go or a friend who let you down.

If so, you may want to lighten your load with a dose of forgiveness. Forgiveness means you surrender the situation or person, your release it, no longer playing scenarios in your mind of “what she said, what he did, how could they, and I’ll get even because.”

Life is too short to carry around a ball and chain. Life is too short to be upset with anyone about anything.

Below are some examples of how to forgive, why you want to forgive and what others say about forgiveness.

My friend Barry Nobles, a retired high school counselor gave me this affirmation on a yellow index card last fall when I was struggling with forgiving myself. I kept it in my pocket as a reminder until I didn’t need it any longer. When I needed to change my self-defeating and condemning thoughts I read it over and over.

“I forgive myself for judging myself for_____________.
When I see myself through the eyes of ___________ I forgive myself for judgeing myself for____________.

Another friend Katherine Nuyens offers this lesson in forgiveness on her website:

“I completely forgive myself for taking on this particular situation. (Name it.) I know I was only doing the best I could at the time. If I was in another state of mind, or if I had more information, I may have acted differently. (As you are ready) I ask Spirit to help me reach the place of forgiveness for myself and for anyone involved in this situation.. I realize they were only doing the best they could also. I love and accept myself with all of my problems and perceived limitations. I don’t need this (name negative emotion) any longer. I am now able to replace it with (positive emotion). ”

Something I found a very long time ago that has helped me and I continue to share it with others:

“I bless you I release you I set you free. I allow you to be you and me to be me. ” Repeat this when the offender comes to mind.

A Course In Miracles offers these lessons:
Love holds no grievances.
Forgiveness offers everything I want.
God is the Love in which I forgive.
Above all else I want to see things differently.
I could see peace instead of this.

The Bible On Forgiveness:
”But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you…”Matthew 5:44

“Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Untill seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.”–Matthew 1:21, 22

Other quotes on forgiveness:

“We forgive to the extent that we love.” — Francois de La Rochefoucauld

“Life is an adventure in forgiveness.” — Norman Cousins

My favorite! “No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.” -Voltaire

“Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were.” -Cherie Carter-Scott

Like all things in your life, forgiveness is a choice. By making the choice to grant unconditional forgiveness, you will have brought yourself one step closer to living a life of fulfillment, joy, and deep inner peace. -Chuck Danes

Decide to Forgive by Rober Muller

For resentment is negative
Resentment is poisonous
Resentment diminishes
And devours itself.
Be the first to forgive.
To smile and take the first step.
And you will see happiness bloom
On the face of your human
Brother or sister.
Be always the first
Do not wait for others to forgive
For by forgiving you become the master of fate
The Fashioner of life
The doer of miracles.
To forgive is the highest,
most beautiful form of love.
In return you will receive
untold peace and happiness.

More Forgiveness Exercises from my book, “Flying By the Seat of My Soul.”

1. Think of someone who irritates you. Write down the things you dislike about this person. Ask yourself, “how do I do these things myself?” If the quality you write is judgment, begin to notice how you also judge others. What we judge others for today we will find ourselves doing tomorrow!

Then affirm, “I release the need to judge others and myself.” Be vigiliant for these times and repeat your affirmation as needed.

2. Make a list of all the things that hurt you, that caused you to feel pain, distrust or fear. Now write a letter to a particular person. Tell them, I forgive you.” Decide to make forgiveness a way of life.

3. If you haven’t forgiven yourself make a list of any mistakes you hold against yourself. Remind yourself that you have been forgiven when old issues surface. Be gentle with yourself. Learn from your mistakes. Do something nice for yourself today.

4. Ask yourself the following questions and journal your answers:

Do I judge others?
Do I judge myself?
Do I condemn others?
Do I condemn myself?
Learn to catch yourself, stop and replace the judgement with wishing that person well.

5. Write a love letter to yourself. Thank yourself for how far you have come in life, what you have learned, accomplished and overcome. Put it away for a couple of months and then mail it to yourself.

I would like to end with a favorite quote by Anne Frank, “In spite of everything I still believe people are good at heart.”

Post from: The Bold Life